


A Beginning in Three Parts

by mismatched_ideas



Series: It's Easier With You [14]
Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Adoption, Again, Anxiety Attacks, Arguments, Cuddling, Dissociation, Domestic Fluff, Engagement, Family, Flirting, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Foreplay?, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Marriage, New York City AU, Nonbinary Yuri Plisetsky, Panic Attacks, Sexual Content, Sort Of, Stress, but like not quiet sex?, but like not quite sex, like it's not quite dissociation but it's the closest thing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-01
Updated: 2017-11-17
Packaged: 2019-01-28 01:51:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 20,625
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12595428
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mismatched_ideas/pseuds/mismatched_ideas
Summary: !!ON HIATUS!!|| Part 1: I’ll Be By Your Side, Forever ||Yuuri and Viktor can't figure out what's wrong with their students. Otabek isn't sure how to parse how he's feeling. Yuri doesn't know how to help.They all try their best.|| Part 2: A Long Engagement ||Weddings are hard to plan when you haven't been to many. Weddings are hard to plan when you don't know exactly who you are. Wedding... well... are hard to plan.





	1. I’ll Be By Your Side, Forever

**Author's Note:**

  * For [alison](https://archiveofourown.org/users/alison/gifts), [Caroline](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Caroline/gifts).



> Howdy, welcome to the hell fic that's been holding me hostage for like two months. 
> 
> Almost forgot: Russian is in italics and Japanese is bold BUT, in scenes where there are only Russian or Kazakh characters (scenes with just Yuri and Otabek or scenes with their families, hint hint) please assume they are speaking Russian. It just looks bad when every piece of conversation is italicized. Most scenes where it might be unclear what language is being spoken, I use italics/bold or at least mark it with words. 
> 
> There are more notes at the end that I was going to put here but they were getting too long. 
> 
> The fact that there are multiple parts might seem scary but they're all almost done and also, like, the parts are really only because, well, the name. Also, parts will be added to the description as they're posted.

_Part 1: I’ll Be By Your Side, Forever_

“Do it again,” Yuuri called onto the ice, watching Yuri with indifferent eyes. 

“Why?” Yuri turned to glare at their coach, “I've done it enough! It's fine.”

“Hmm, weird, sounds like my student was questioning my sage wisdom.” Yuuri looked over at where Viktor was talking to Otabek. “If only I had a student like Otabek who actually listens to me.”

“Stop being dramatic.” Yuri said, “When the hell did you get worse than Viktor?”

“Well, someone doesn't respond to niceness or yelling so…” 

Yuri groaned but Viktor cut in before they could say anything. 

“You should listen to him,” Viktor smiled at Yuri’s middle finger, “You looked pretty sloppy. That's not going to fly in the Olympics.”

“Shut up, I've been to the Olympics. I don't need you telling me what it's like.”

“Both of you stop,” Yuuri said as if he hadn't started this. After a moment of tense silence, Yuuri sighed. “Okay, Yuri, how would you propose I coach you to make you listen?”

Avery skated lazily by, smirking at Yuri and seeming unaffected by the tenseness of the situation. “In my experience, cursing helps.” 

“I hate you.” Yuri glowered at them but Avery only laughed, going back to their own practice. “Just… I don't know, but I don't want to practice this anymore.”

“Fine, we'll move on.” Yuuri sighed. “But we're going to try it again tomorrow.”

Yuri grumbled a little to themself but didn't complain anymore about Yuuri’s coaching. 

\---

“Why is Yuri so difficult?” Yuuri asked as Viktor leaned against the kitchen counter, glancing between his husband and the living room where their kids were watching TV. 

Yuuri was cooking relatively aggressively tonight, his mouth a thin line when he wasn't asking frustrated questions that seemed only generally directed at Viktor. 

“I think they're just…” Viktor sighed because he didn't have an explanation. Sometime Yuri was just difficult. He'd seen it plenty in Russia. “Yuri has these days.”

“It's been a week!” Yuuri turned the stove on, the motion aggressive enough that Viktor thought it might be on too high. “They've been acting like this all week!”

“I don't know what to tell you, Love.” Viktor sighed and walked into the kitchen to turn the stove down before Yuuri burned dinner. “Give them some time.”

Yuuri scoffed, pouring himself a glass of wine from the bottle Chris and Luca had given Viktor as a gift for his last birthday. 

“You're lucky, Otabek doesn't have days or weeks.”

“Don't even get me started on him.” Viktor groaned. “Do you realize that he doesn't argue but if he really doesn't agree with me, he'll just ignore me. He's not much better than Yuri.”

They sighed together and Yuuri offered Viktor his glass. The other man took it gratefully and had a sip, amazed, not for the first time, that Chris always knew what wine he liked. 

“Otabek has been acting kind of weird lately.”

“Weird how?” 

“Not paying attention. Daydreaming.”

Yuuri hummed out a thoughtful noise. “Wonder if there's something going on between them.”

“They seem fine together at the rink.”

“Yah…” Yuuri sighed, finishing the wine and turning back to dinner, much calmer now as he tried to think what could be wrong with their pair of students. “Maybe we should ask them what's wrong?”

“Let's give it time,” Viktor said even though he did want to ask. He was learning, though, that not everything needed a direct approach. Especially not Yuri and Otabek. 

“I guess we need to let them figure it out themselves.” 

“They’re old enough.”

Yuuri sighed, “Makes me feel old.”

Viktor laughed, moving to wrap his arms around Yuuri’s waist. “Think about how I feel. Otabek is a decade younger than me and he acts like an old man half the time.” 

“Yuri is ten years younger than me so I understand just fine,” Yuuri said, giggling as he tried to continue cooking despite the new addition to his back. “Viktor, do you want dinner or not.”

“Forget dinner, let’s just order something,” Viktor said, kissing Yuuri’s neck after a quick look towards the living room. It wasn’t technically separate from the kitchen and dining room but there was a half-wall there and the hallway jutted out far enough that Viktor was pretty sure the kids wouldn't turn and see them. Not that he was doing anything _bad_ but he guessed kids didn’t want to see their parents like this. “Have a night in.”

“We’re already staying in.” Yuuri reminded him, ignoring Viktor’s insistent kisses in favor of finishing dinner, though he couldn’t stop himself from giggling as Viktor tickled his neck. “Stop being indecent.”

“I’m not being indecent, I’m just showing my husband how much I love him.”

“Viktor,” Yuuri’s voice was made to sound like a complaint but he was laughing hardily now. “I need to finish dinner and the kids are in the next room.”

Viktor leaned his face far enough forward that Yuuri could see him pouting out of the corner of his eye. Yuuri rolled his eyes and turned in Viktor’s grip so he could lean closer to him. 

“What did I say about being bad, Viten’ka.” 

With that he turned around, trying to hide his red cheeks from Viktor. As much as he enjoyed the response he’d get from his husband, it was still embarrassing. Especially in the kitchen during the early evening. 

Behind him, Viktor was flushing as well, red-faced and lost for words. After a moment of sputtering—no matter how many times Yuuri used that nickname, Viktor was never ready for the way the syllables pulled their way out of Yuuri’s mouth—Viktor smirked in an attempt to mask how flustered he was.

He moved away from Yuuri, going to get dishes out for dinner. Before he headed towards the table, and before he was far enough away from Yuuri that he’d have to raise his voice, Viktor spoke, practically purring out his response. 

“I’m not sure I remember, maybe you’ll have to show me later.”

“Viktor!” Yuuri shouted, turning to look at his now cackling husband as he went to set the table.

They both had red faces and when Noa and Andrew came to see what the commotion was, Noa just shook her head in disbelief over her dads’ silliness. Andrew copied the motion even though he didn’t really understand it. 

“Viktor, you get back here! You can’t just say things like that at six in the evening.” 

“You’re one to talk,” Viktor said, still laughing as he handed napkins and silverware to Andrew and Noa respectively. “You started it with ‘Viten’ka’ and you know it.”

“What’s that?” Noa asked, following close behind VIktor to put the silverware next to the plates. Behind her was Andrew, reaching up to put a napkin on each plate. 

“A nickname for Papa that Dad isn’t supposed to use,” Viktor said, looking pointedly at Yuuri.

“Why not?”

Yuuri giggled as he carried dinner to the table. “Because your papa is a silly man.” 

“Oh,” Noa said, though she had little idea what was going on. She decided it was easier to let her dads be silly without questioning it. “What’s for dinner?”

\---

Yuri felt like an absolute idiot at the moment. Or, they would feel that way in the future about the choices they’d made tonight.

They wanted to talk to Otabek because there had been things nagging at the back of their mind for a little bit now. They could also tell Otabek was thinking about something too much and they wanted to know what it was. 

But Yuri was irresponsible even if they tried not to be.

The thing was that sometimes your boyfriend got out of the shower and his hair was starting to dry because he didn’t have very long hair. And sometimes that hair curled as it dried in a way that you found immeasurably attractive. Sometimes your boyfriend said your name in the same way he always did but in this moment it sounded extremely hot and your mind couldn’t help but wander towards imaginings of what it would sound like if your boyfriend said your name like that but while out of breath. 

Sometimes you were supposed to talk to your boyfriend because communication was important but you instead ended up making out with him, losing yourself in the smell of his shampoo and body wash. 

Yuri hated to admit how much Otabek affected them but they were pretty sure anyone would understand, given how unfairly attractive Otabek was. But they didn't want to make Otabek uncomfortable, would never want that, so they did their best not to be too intense. 

“Yuri, wait.” Yuri hated that their body didn't care anywhere near as much as they did about keeping Otabek comfortable. 

“Sorry.” Yuri smiled apologetically, shifting off of Otabek’s lap, feeling a bit uncomfortable now in the pair of tight jeans they were wearing. Between that and the fact that Otabek was still only in a towel, both of them were well aware that Yuri was ‘having a good time.’ “I'll take my shower now, or do you need me to stay?”

Otabek shook his head, unable to think of anything reassuring to say because he hated himself for making Yuri worry in this moment. He had been having a good time and so had Yuri but, once again, his own issues had come up. 

When Yuri still lingered, Otabek waved them away. “I'm fine, Yura.”

“If you're sure,” Yuri said, waiting another moment before heading to the bathroom and leaving Otabek to his thoughts. 

Otabek knew he had some time as he slowly got up to get dressed for bed. 

The problem he found himself facing was that his thoughts kept tumbling around his mind, refusing to quiet down at any point. 

Otabek wasn't really afraid of anything except his own mind and the places his spiraling self-doubt could take him. 

And lately, there's been a lot of doubt for him. He suspected it was born from the fact that Yuri had had to think for a long time before asking Otabek to move with them to New York. He thought it could also be the fact that their first fight had really driven home for Otabek that Yuri didn't talk about what was wrong and if Yuri wasn't tired, Otabek might never know what's wrong with his SO. 

Those thoughts weren't that problematic on their own but they allowed Otabek to question everything about himself and about Yuri. He knew he shouldn't let it all sit in his mind, working itself up into a venom that was first destroy his relationship with Yuri and destroy Otabek himself. But it was hard because he was so confused and so uncertain. 

It was hard because he was scared. 

Otabek had been pretty terrified when he found a name for how he'd been feeling because it seemed so final. It made him worry he'd never be enough for anyone. But he'd become more and more comfortable with the label of asexual, with who he was. Yuri loved him no matter what and that was enough for Otabek. 

But Otabek’s concerns were twofold and he wasn't sure which idea was worse. 

That Yuri was being too nice about their lack of sex and at some point, they'd realize this wasn't what they wanted. On one hand, Otabek believed Yuri when they said they loved him and wanted to be with him. On the other hand, Otabek wasn't sure he believed that anyone really knew what the future would hold. Maybe that future would hold Yuri realizing it wasn't fair for them to be denied sex and they’d leave. 

The other thing that scared Otabek was lying to himself about his sexuality. He wasn't sure why he'd be lying to himself but who knew what that could mean? If it were true then his concerns about Yuri wouldn't be the same, but they'd still be there. It would mean that instead of him not being attracted to anyone, it meant he just wasn't attracted to Yuri. 

The first option seemed more likely to Otabek but the second was more terrifying. 

He was confused by his feelings and his body. He didn't know how to interpret how he felt. 

He wasn't disgusted by the idea of sex but he also didn't feel the need to seek it out. He was, really, neutral to the idea of it. But when it came to himself specifically, it was a much scarier concept. 

When Yuri kissed him, when their hands ended up inside Otabek’s shirt or in his hair, Otabek felt something. It wasn't a specific feeling directed towards Yuri, more his body responding positively to the stimuli. He didn't know what that meant, especially in light of his recent realization that neutral or not, he was terrified of sex. He hated he was 24 and terrified of sex but it was true. 

There was so much trust required and it wasn't that he didn't trust Yuri, it was just that he didn't think he'd ever trust anyone so completely. 

Or maybe he was just building it up. 

“Beka?”

Otabek jumped at the sound of Yuri’s voice, not realizing they'd returned and were now standing not far from Otabek, looking at him worriedly. 

“Sorry, did you say something?”

“No… you just looked really upset.” Yuri walked over to Otabek, put a hand lightly on his cheek. “I'm sorry, I wanted to ask you what was wrong earlier but I… I'm sorry.” 

“Don't be.” Otabek shook his head, sitting back down on the bed while Yuri quickly pulled on a pair of shorts. “I was just thinking.”

“About what?” Yuri asked, crawling into bed next to Otabek but not touching him. 

Otabek was quiet for a long time, staring off into space like he'd been doing more and more recently. It worried Yuri because they didn't know how to help other than push and push until Otabek cracked. 

“Don't you wish- wouldn't you rather a partner who-” Otabek took a deep breath, praying he could calm down enough to actually speak. “Don't you want to be with someone who doesn't get uncomfortable with you getting aroused during a make out?”

“Beka?” Yuri looked concernedly at Otabek. He was staring at his hands as he picked at the cuticles of one thumb with the nail of the other. Finally, Yuri reached out to grab Otabek’s hand, stopping him before he could make himself bleed. “Beka, I'm happy being with you. I don't need to have sex with you to be in love with you. If you're ever comfortable enough to try, I'm more than willing but I want you to be comfortable.”

“What if I'm never comfortable?” 

Otabek’s stormy mask fell away, revealing a pair of desperate eyes and an expression so near to tears that Yuri felt their heart tearing in two. How had they let Otabek get this far into his own dark thoughts? How had they not noticed how bad things had gotten?

“Baby, I-” Yuri was shaking their head. “Beka, I don't care if we never have sex. I'm not lying to you.”

“But-” Otabek’s voice cracked and his eyes filled with tears. Yuri had never seen Otabek cry and they weren't sure what they could do for their boyfriend. “I should- If I love-”

“Beka…” Yuri opened their arms and after some hesitation, Otabek folded himself into Yuri’s arms, shaking as Yuri held him tightly. “You have to talk to me before things get this bad. I don't want you to try and figure this out alone.”

“I never noticed,” Otabek admitted, his voice more even than Yuri expected. “They just seemed like tiny worries until now.”

“I want to hear everything, even the tiny worries,” Yuri assured, pulling their hand through Otabek’s hair. “You being asexual isn't something I had to learn to love and it's not something I'm just living with. It's who you are and I love you for it.”

“What if I'm wrong? What if I'm not asexual?” Yuri smiled a little because it was a little nice to know that they weren't the only one afraid of being wrong. 

“Then we’ll figure things out.” Yuri shrugged. “I love Otabek, not some labels. Isn't that how you feel too?”

Otabek nodded. He'd stopped shaking and his eyes were red but dry, his crying quick and quiet. It was a practiced cry of someone who'd spent most of his life in the company of strangers with uncertain motives. 

“Want to sleep?” Yuri asked and when Otabek nodded, they pulled them both under the blankets even as they didn't let go of Otabek. 

“Goodnight.” He said, feeling safe with Yuri’s arms tightly around him. 

“Goodnight.” Yuri repeated, pressing a kiss into the top of Otabek’s head before adding, “I love you.”


	2. How to Tell You I Mean Forever

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri needs a way to convince Otabek they mean forever. They might have come up with a plan.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Catch me posting this literally at midnight on Friday

Yuri wanted to make a comment about the obvious marks on both Viktor and Yuuri’s necks because it was really fun to embarrass them both, especially Yuuri. 

The issue was, Otabek refused to take his scarf off on the ice and, of course, no one was fooled. 

“You ready to actually do what I asked yesterday?” Yuuri asked, acting as if he was unaware of the single, large bruise on his neck. 

“Fine, whatever.” Yuri was a little embarrassed about how difficult they'd been but it wasn't like they were about to apologize. Then again, they had a favor to ask so maybe they should apologize. “Yuuri, I need a favor.”

“What's that?” 

“I need to leave early and I need you and the old man to distract Otabek.”

“Oh, have something planned?” Yuuri asked leaning in interestedly. 

“I need to do something and he can't know about it.”

“I think I have a plan,” Yuuri said, smiling. 

\---

Yuri was working on their own when Yuuri called them over. 

“What?”

“I'm a little worried about Avery’s ankle so I'm sending them home early,” Yuuri said as Avery tried to argue. “And I want you to go with them.”

“Really? Why me?” Yuri asked, “They look fine.”

“Is something wrong?” Viktor asked from a little bit away. 

“Nothing bad, just want Yuri to walk Avery home in case Avery’s ankle starts acting up.”

“I don't–” Yuuri gave Yuri a look and suddenly they realized what was happened. “Oh, fine, okay.”

“But coach–!” Yuri wasn't sure Avery had been told about this plan. 

“No buts, I want both of you out of here in the next five minutes.”

“No arguing with him, Avery” Yuri gave them a shrug. “We might as well go.”

“Fine.” They huffed, stepping off the ice and making a face like they were ready to commit murder. Yuri didn't think they wanted to tell Avery this wasn't real. 

Maybe they could just walk them home and pretend it was real. 

\---

After about a block of Avery and Yuri walking in silence, Yuri actually thought Avery’s gait was a little off and wondered if maybe this wasn't so fake after all, Avery looked behind them then smiled at Yuri. 

“So where are we going?”

“Huh?”

Avery turned, their stride evening out as Yuri blinked at them. 

“Where are we going?”

“You knew?”

“Yah, duh.” Avery rolled their eyes. “So…?”

As they finally recovered from the shock of having witnesses Avery pull off an extraordinary lie, Yuri scoffed. “You're going home.”

“Like hell I am,” Avery said, following as Yuri started walking again. “I cut my training early to help you and I want in.”

Yuri blushed, grimacing at the ground but not saying anything. 

“Aw, does it have to do with Otabek?” Yuri still refused to answer. “Did you guys fight again? Do you need an apology gift?” Avery thought for a moment then shook their head. “That can't be it, given Otabek’s whole scarf thing.”

“What the hell, Avery?” Yuri glared at them. “Are you sure you aren't related to Mila?”

“Who knows?” They winked but were unabated. “So, what is it?”

“Fine! But you can't tell anyone.” Yuri stressed, “Not even Yuuri and Viktor. Not your parents or your friends. Not even Ela.”

“There was no reason to bring her up,” Avery mumbled. “But I won't tell anyone!”

“Fine…” Yuri and Avery both looked off to their sides for different reasons but with the same result of making each more comfortable. Avery with the fact that Yuri knew a lot about who they liked and Yuri with answering out loud what Avery was asking. “I'm going to buy engagement rings.”

“What?” Avery shouted, looking at Yuri now. “Seriously? This is amazing!”

“Shut up,” Yuri said despite their small smile. “It's not for sure but I was thinking… Otabek isn't always so sure about us so how else can I prove to him I mean forever?”

“That's a kinda’ dumb reason,” Avery told them as Yuri lead them towards the jeweler they'd found online. “But since it's you two, I'm sure you'll be fine.”

“What's that supposed to mean?” Yuri glanced around, a little unsure if they'd made a wrong turn. 

“You two are almost as sweet as Viktor and Coach.” Avery ignored the face Yuri made. “They worked out pretty well and from what I've heard about them,” Avery smirked. “And what I saw, you and Otabek aren't that different from how they were.”

“Oh come on, you couldn't have seen that much. You were, what, two for Viktor’s first season as a coach.”

“Excuse me, I was like ten.” They pointed to a shop across the street. “Is that the place you're looking for?”

“I knew where we were,” Yuri grumbled, annoyed that after half a year, they still got lost easily even close to the rink. “But what do you mean we're similar?”

“It's hard to explain,” Avery told them. “And maybe it's just a feeling but… you're all more similar than I think you realize.”

Avery pushed open the jeweler's door, holding it open for Yuri. 

“Hello, Sir. Hello, Miss.” Yuri and Avery shared a look and a shrug, both used to that type of greeting and simultaneously deciding it wasn't worth pursuing. “What can I do for you two today.”

“I saw online you had plain wedding bands on sale,” Yuri said, stepping towards the counter. “I'm hoping to purchase a pair today but I'd like to look at them first.”

“Sounds great, Sir. Our wedding bands are over here.” He glanced at Avery. “And what about you, Miss?”

“I'm with them.” Avery nodded towards Yuri. “Need to make sure they don't make a mistake.”

“I didn't ask for your input.” Yuri pointed out as Avery came to look over their shoulder. 

“Good thing I came anyway.”

“What were you looking for, umm, Sir.” The jeweler—a quick glance at his name tag told Yuri his name was Dan—interjected. 

“I saw on your website you had a plain black ring. I’m thinking of getting a pair of those and to get an engraving inside.” 

“Like this?” The man pulled out a ring to show to Yuri and they nodded. “You know we have some nice rings made of rose-gold and the outsides are–”

“No, these are perfect.” Yuri smiled at the pair of rings, the softness of it surprising Avery. “I’d like to order them now.”

“Two, Sir?”

“Yes. I need a size 8 and a size 11.”

“You just know Otabek’s ring size?” Avery asked.

“No, I obviously guessed.” 

Avery rolled their eyes. “I was just wondering how you knew. Not a lot of people know their SO’s ring size.” 

“I measured his finger while he was sleeping.” Avery gaped at Yuri, who laughed. “You’re an idiot, I asked his mom.” 

“Mean.” Avery punched Yuri lightly in the arm while the jeweler was busy typing up the order. “They’re nice rings.”

“Thanks… I hope he likes them.”

“He’ll love them.” Avery rolled their eyes. “There’s no way he wouldn’t.” 

“Okay, Sir, is that all?”

“I also want to get one of the rings engraved.”

“Only one?”

“Yep.” Yuri pulled a printed piece of paper out of their pocket. “I want this engraved on the size 11 ring.” 

“Umm…” The jeweler looked at the page for a while. “This is…”

“Russian.” Yuri bit their lip. “That won’t be a problem, right?”

“No, not at all.” The jeweler smiled. “Now, let’s talk about payment.”

\---

“What did the engravement say?” Avery asked over coffee.

Yuri had said they should both head home right after Yuri finished with the jeweler but Avery convinced Yuri to get coffee first. 

“Don’t worry about it.”

“Now I’m worrying about it,” Avery informed them. “I’ll figure it out eventually.”

“I’ll chance you finding out on your own.” Yuri shrugged. “Now, we’ve talked about me enough today. What about you?”

“Nope.” Avery shook their head. “Not doing this right now.”

“But you need so much help.” Yuri insisted. “I don’t think I’ve seen you talk to Ela a single time.”

“Yah, because I’m a mess of a human being.” Avery insisted. “I can’t talk to pretty girls, okay?”

“I’ve noticed,” Yuri said. 

Last time Avery tried to talk to Ela, they’d barely been able to get out a hello. It was hard to believe that they were 16 sometimes but in the moments when they tried talking to Ela, and really any person they found mildly attractive, Yuri remembered all too well that Avery had no clue what they were doing. The worst part was probably the fact that Yuri was pretty sure Ela was into Avery.

“So, talking to Ela is a no go. I’m just going to die alone.”

Yuri rolled their eyes, pulling their phone out and opening Skype. 

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Getting you help.” 

The phone rang for a while, all while Yuri tried to remember what the time difference between New York and St. Petersburg was. When the phone finally picked up, Mila was glaring tiredly at the camera.

“What the actual fuck, Yuri?”

“Oops, timezones.” Yuri shrugged. “I’m sorry.”

“I highly doubt that.” Mila yawned and waved into the camera. “Hi Avery.”

“Umm– Well– I– Well–” 

Yuri turned to look at Avery in disbelief. “She’s like eight years older than you.”

“Shut up,” Avery shouted, dropping their forehead onto the table and hiding them out of frame.

“Should I ask?” Mila asked with a raised eyebrow. 

“Avery has trouble talking to pretty girls,” Yuri said with a smirk. “Not all that different from you, if Viktor tells his stories right.”

“He fucking didn’t!” Mila said, raising her voice for a moment before lowering it and glancing off screen. When nothing happened she let out a relieved sigh. “I’m going to beat him up next time I see him.”

Laughing, Yuri continued. “Sounds like a good plan. Now, I need you to help Avery learn to not do whatever they just did.”

“I don’t need help,” Avery said, words muffled by the table. “I just need to be left alone.”

“There’s a girl who they’re into,” Yuri explained, smirking at Avery when they tilted their head to glare at Yuri. “And she's totally into Avery but they’ll never go on a date while Avery can barely say hello.” 

“Sounds like a job for your Big Sis Mila.” Yuri rolled their eyes. “But not tonight. It’s midnight and I barely get any sleep anymore.”

“Thanks to Sara or Elisa?” Yuri asked and Mila just gave them the finger. 

“Just give me Avery’s number or something, I’m sure I’d be a better rink-sibling than you are.”

“I’m great at this.”

“Which is why you’re asking for my help.”

Yuri shrugged, “Like I know anything about girls.” 

At that Mila laughed, loud and full, but then a baby started crying and she sighed. “Well, fuck. I have to go now.”

“I’ll talk to you later.”

“Yah.” Mila laughed. “See you guys at The Olympics, I guess.”

“Bye.” Avery managed, their face still planted on the table. Only when Yuri hung up did they pick themself back up. “Thanks for the warning.”

“I can’t believe you have a thing for Mila.” Yuri shook their head and Avery just put their face back onto the table, sending Yuri into a fit of laughter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'll probably post on Sunday too.


	3. Would You Maybe Say You Love Me Forever?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> If you asked, I'd engrave these words onto my skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm p sure there are about 3000 skating related inaccuracies in this entire series, fic, and chapter and I'm sorry. I try to do my research but there's only so much I can do. 
> 
> Also, as might be obvi, I'm updating on Sundays too. Really against my better judgment. But, well, here we are.

There were a lot of people at breakfast that morning and Yuri could feel anxiety pulling at them. It wasn’t that they were embarrassed by the events of the night before, but they weren’t sure if they were quite ready for the intense attention they’d probably have to endure. 

Yuri and Otabek were the last people to arrive which only made their entrance more noticeable. Yuuri and Viktor were sitting with Yakov, Mila, Lilia, and Phichit. Nearby was Seung-gil with his sister, the silver medalist, who were both staring rather blankly at JJ. Yuri would have joked it was because they didn’t care what he was saying even though they were pretty sure it was just because the sibling pair were not morning people. Avery was sitting with the few of Yuuri and Viktor’s students who made it to The Olympics. Ela was in that group but since there were four of them, Avery seemed to be doing fine in the conversation. Minami, who’d taken silver over Otabek, was there with his fiancé, an ex-skater from Japan who Yuri didn’t really know beyond being Minami’s fiancé. They were in intense conversation with Minako, who’d insisted on coming to The Olympics to support Yuuri as a coach even though he insisted she didn’t have to do that. She said she would never miss what was a damn good showing for a pair of coaches. 

Six skaters in The Olympics was great considering both men taught few students. Avery and Yuri had taken gold, Ela and her partner Matthew had taken bronze, and Otabek had gotten bronze himself. Madison hadn’t been able to place but she’d gotten a personal record. 

“Yuri!” Mila was the first one to notice their entrance. “Otabek! It’s about time you two came down.”

“Hey, now the men and women’s podium is all here.” Phichit pointed out. “And a third of the couples. No ice dancers, though.” 

“Not really our specialty,” Yuuri admitted to his friend. 

“Well, we need a picture! Everyone who got a medal should be in there.” Phichit held up his phone. 

There was some grumbling but everyone eventually ended up standing near each other, mostly looking awkward. Ela stood close to Avery, closer than she was to her partner, and Avery was having trouble looking away from Ela. Yuri and Otabek were in the center back, with Mila next to Yuri since they were the three tallest after Matthew. Minami stood next to Avery and Yuri almost laughed seeing that even though he’d gained some height in recent years, he was still shorter than Avery. Yuri didn’t think he could be any taller than Yuri had been at 15. Ela’s partner ended up in the back because he was the tallest of the group and so wasn't even standing near Ela. 

“Okay everyone,” Phichit smiled from behind his phone. “Smile!” 

Once the picture was done, everyone was allowed to sit back down. 

Avery still looked like they were about to faint as Ela stopped them from moving back to their seats. Yuri smiled as they caught snippets of what sounded like Ela telling Avery they’d done well. They also thought they heard Ela asking Avery if they wanted to get coffee once they were back in New York. 

Minako was now talking to Lilia so Minami ended up chatting with Phichit and Seung-gil. Yuri thought they saw Yuuri smirking at Otabek and Yuri’s hands but he didn’t say anything. Viktor was now the one being talked to by JJ and Yuri could hear he was talking about his kids. Yuri might still dislike him, but JJ's devotion to his kids was sort of admirable. For all his faults—and Yuri was pretty sure he had more than the average person—JJ was fiercely loyal, especially to his family.

“Yuri.” Yakov’s voice was gruff and still made Yuri flinch a little, their body automatically assuming they were in trouble despite Yakov not even being their coach anymore. Given how often he got in trouble while training under Yakov, it wasn't that strange for the reaction to still be ingrained in their muscles. 

“Yakov, it’s been a bit.” Yuri said.

“We haven’t talked much.” Yakov agreed. “And I never got to tell you that you looked great this season. And that Lilia and I are both proud of you.”

Yuri couldn’t help but smile at that, looking at their feet. “Thank you.”

“But that’s not why I came over here.”

“It’s not?” Yuri looked up at Yakov, then at Otabek, who just shrugged. “Then why…?”

“I was wondering if you had something to announce.” He asked, his eyes suddenly looking sly and reminding Yuri that Viktor took after Yakov even if Yakov would never admit it. When Yuri didn’t say anything, Yakov pointed at his own right hand and Yuri knew they weren’t going to be able to avoid a big announcement. 

“Well… it’s pretty much what it looks like.” Yuri said, grabbing at Otabek’s right hand and held up their right hand to show the matching rings.

“You’re engaged?” Mila was the first to exclaim. “Fucking called it!” She looked smugly at Viktor. “You owe me money.”

“You guys were placing bets?” Yuri asked as they watched Viktor hand Mila cash. 

“I said you’d get engaged at The Olympics. Viktor said Otabek would ask on your birthday.” Mila gave Viktor a toothy smile. “Guess you don’t know your student very well.”

After that, there was a smattering of congratulations from the other skaters and a long talk from Lilia about the importance of communication in a relationship, a talk she gave while looking past the couple and at Yakov instead. 

Yuri wandered off at some point to get some actual breakfast while Otabek was still trapped talking to Mila. It was a while later, after Yuri had finished the plate of eggs and something that was supposed to be sausage, that Yuri noticed that nearly everyone from their group was gathered around Otabek. 

“What is going on?” Yuri asked but once they broke into the group they saw that Mila and Viktor were both squinting at Otabek's ring that either he had handed over or, just as likely, the two had forcebly taken. 

“This is so cute, Yuri.” Yuri noticed Viktor was tearing up. “I can’t believe you’d write something so sweet.”

“Помни, я всегда рядом,” Mila read out loud before translating, a hand placed dramatically on her chest. “Remember, I am always next to you.” 

“So sweet.” Viktor repeated, leaning into Yuuri’s side. 

“Otabek, does Yuri’s ring have an engraving?” Mila asked.

“No, they left it blank so I could put something,” Otabek admitted, obviously having already given up on hiding anything from Mila. Yuri understood that feeling. Sometimes, it was just easier. Especially if Viktor was part of the interrogation too. 

“Have you thought about what you’d write?” Otabek nodded and Yuri felt themself blushing. “What do you want to write?” 

Otabek turned and smiled at Yuri, “Я полюбил тебя с первого взгляда.”

Yuri felt their face turning red as their blood pumped faster along with their rapid heartbeat. 

“What does that mean?” Phichit was the one to ask, looking at Yuuri more than anyone. 

Instead, though, it was Otabek who answered with red cheeks and a soft smile. “I fell in love with you at first sight.” 

\---

“Yura?” Otabek and Yuri were laying in their darkened hotel room, long after closing ceremonies ended. They were supposed to wake up early the next day to catch a plane home but neither of them could sleep. 

“What’s up?”

“I was wondering…” Otabek felt nervous, the words he wanted to say getting caught in his throat. “About last names…”

“We don’t have to change our names.” Yuri pointed out.

“I know we don’t have to but…” Otabek didn’t want to say it but all he could think was that if they ever had a kid then they’d need to decide what they were doing. 

“Or we could hyphenate, I guess.”

“I guess…” Otabek lost his confidence to say what he was thinking, feeling stupid for wanting it. “What do you want to do?”

“Not sure.” Yuri shrugged then turned to look at Otabek with a smile. “I know what we can do.”

“What?”

“Whoever wins gold at World’s gets to decide.”

“What?” Otabek hadn’t been expecting a competition. “That’s not really–”

“It’s decided then,” Yuri said, turning over to try and sleep because they knew what they wanted but they didn’t know what Otabek wanted.

Yuri was afraid to say they wanted to keep their name because they knew if they said that, Otabek would say he was fine with that but Yuri couldn’t be sure he actually was. 

“Fine then… guess we’ll see who wins.” Otabek said with a smile because no matter the outcome, he’d be happy. 

\---

Yuri waited for Otabek at the edge of the rink and when he finally appeared, Yuri crossed their arms. 

“Well, you won.”

“I guess I did,” Otabek said with a wide grin, the gold medal around his neck glinting as he moved to stand close to Yuri. 

“You realize this is the first time you’ve beaten me.” 

“I guess it was about time, then.” Otabek’s grin turned to a smirk and Yuri returned it.

“So, we had a deal. What do you want our names to be after we get married?” Yuri asked, feeling oddly at ease with not having to make the choice. 

“Well…” Otabek put his arms around Yuri’s neck. “I was thinking Otabek Plisetsky would be a pretty good name.” 

Yuri blinked down at Otabek for a long time, wondering if they’d hit their head or something. 

“What?”

“Plisetsky.” He said again. “I have an older brother and younger sister who are in love with the name Altin, not to mention all my cousins, so it’s not like I’m the last of my name. My parents might be a little annoyed to hear I’m changing my name but I don’t mind because… I want this.”

“Really?” Yuri smiled but his face was full of disbelief. 

“Really.” Otabek leaned up to kiss Yuri softly before whispering into their lips. “I fell in love with you at first sight.”

Yuri laughed lightly, “And I’ll always be with you.” Their expression turned thoughtful. “I think we picked good engravings.” 

“I think so.” 

_End Part 1_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Part one was pretty short, I know. Parts 2 and 3 are longer (part 3 esp is gonna murder me one of these days tbh). 
> 
> Also, fite me, I'll put by weird Minami/Yuuto ship into everything I write until the end of time because I have issues
> 
> Love to hear any feedback you guys have!
> 
> Thank you for reading <3


	4. A Long Engagement

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wouldn't it be good, wouldn't it be grand, if we got our families together in a room and talked about weddings?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the thing, y'all. I made an attempt at plans for a wedding that would combine Russian and Kazakh traditions. But. But. 
> 
> It's hard to parse these traditions I know only through research. On top of that, they very heteronormative. With western ceremonies this is also true but my personal knowledge of them plus the relative prevalence of non-straight weddings in recent years makes it easier to plan a non-straight wedding. 
> 
> This is all to say I'm sorry for giving all these characters western ceremonies but please believe I tried really hard not to and this is my own personal failing.

_Part 2: A Long Engagement_

Yuri hated this. They were pretty sure this was the worst thing they'd ever done and it had barely started but if Nikolai didn't stop sizing up Otabek’s father, Yerlan Altin, Yuri was going to lose it. 

It had been Otabek’s idea to get their families together to actually meet each other and at first, this seemed like a good idea. And, it made sense. They were going to get married after all. But, Yuri and Otabek forgot that certain people in their respective families were protectively judgemental. 

“It's nice to meet you.” Yuri’s mother, Inna, finally broke in. “Otabek’s told us so much about you all.”

“It's nice to meet you too.” Aliya said with a discrete nudge of her elbow into Yerlan’s side. 

“Yes, it's nice to meet you.” He said and silence fell back over the group.

Yuri and Inna were busy staring at Nikolai who finally caved to their looks and to the silence. 

“It's good to finally meet you. Since I first talked to Otabek, I’ve wondered what his family was like.”

Yuri thought they could see despair in Otabek’s eyes even though they were unsure of what Nikolai was referring to. Unless he was talking about the hickey incident, in which case Yuri thought he needed to move on. 

“So, how about we talk about the wedding.” Aliya had a way of making everything sound so pleasant even when Yuri was dreading the exact thing she was talking about. 

“Of course it will be a traditional Russian wedding,” Nikolai said, his eyes narrowed in a way that made Yuri want to scream. 

“And I assume you think it'll take place in Russia.” Yerlan shot back. 

“It will be.”

“And why not Kazakhstan? Why not our traditions?”

“Yours are too weighted on giving a bride away. My Yurochka isn't some bride to be sold.”

“Excuse me?” Yuri honestly wouldn't have minded dying in that moment, the tensions in the room somehow worse than they expected. “You know nothing of our traditions! Yours are gaudy and–”

“Dad.” Otabek cut in, his voice pleading. 

“It will take place in Russia.”

“Not if I have anything to say about it.”

“And who says you do?”

“Enough!” Yuri stood, slamming their hands down on the table. “We're not doing either. Beka and I are getting married in New York in an American ceremony and if you all want to complain about that, then you don't have to come.”

After a silent glare at both men, Yuri turned and fled the room. After a minute of silence, Otabek followed. 

“Yura?” Otabek called into the hall, “Yura?”

“I'm here.” Yuri poked their head out from behind the doorway into the stairwell. 

“Hey, sorry about my dad,” Otabek said, entering the stairwell to find Yuri sitting on the first step down, back against the wall and feet against the handrail. 

“Sorry about Grandpa, I don't know what got into him there.” Yuri shook their head. “I'm sorry, I just said whatever I wanted in there. We can have whatever ceremony you want.”

“Why'd you say what you did?” Otabek asked, stepping over Yuri to sit a step below them. 

“Because it was the opposite of what they were both saying,” Yuuri laughed. “I just tried to think what would be the thing they both wouldn't want and I went with that.”

Otabek laughed, leaning so his head was on Yuri’s arm. 

“Maybe they'll unite against your proclamation and come to an agreement.”

“What do you want?” Yuri asked. “I don't really know what to want in a wedding so… I was kind of hoping you'd have an idea.”

“I honestly don't know either,” Otabek admitted. “I haven’t really been to many weddings. The only wedding I’ve been to without you was one of my cousins and… I don’t know if I want to have a traditional wedding. I don’t even know how that would work for us.” 

“Yah…” Yuri tried to remember if they’d ever been to a Russian wedding. “I don’t know much about Russian weddings.” 

“What you said in there might not be a bad idea.” Otabek chuckled. “It would be easier and even if our families aren’t happy, at least they’re all unhappy.”

“And we could get Yuuri and Viktor to help us plan.”

Otabek smiled at Yuri, his face soft as he watched his fiancé chew on their lip and stare off into space.

“That would be nice.”

“Guess we should go back,” Yuri said with a sigh.

“Or we could make a run for it,” Otabek said, his voice believable enough that Yuri gave him an incredulous look. Only after a few moments of that did Otabek break, laughing at his own joke hard enough to make Yuri laugh too. 

Farther down the hall, their families had exited the room they were in to go after Otabek and Yuri. Aliya looked at her husband with crossed arms while he was pointedly not looking at her. Inna sighed but was smiling. Nikolai smiled too.

“I apologize.” He said to Aliya and Yerlan. “For getting worked up.”

“I apologize as well,” Yerlan said after a long silence. “Beka can be… The only thing he’s ever been obstinate about is skating. We just didn’t want him to be forced to do something he didn’t want.”

“Maybe,” Aliya was glowering at her husband, “We should remember our son is almost 26.”

“Alright, alright, I get it.” He waved her away. “They can do whatever they please as long as they have a wedding.”

“They can do whatever they please as long as I get grandkids,” Aliya said, smiling innocently. 

Back in the stairwell, Yuri had Otabek’s hand in their own and was playing with his fingers, ignoring the conversation going on in the hallway. Otabek, on the other hand, was listening to the conversation and wondering what Yuri thought about it. Wondering if they’d hate the idea of kids and wondering when the right time to ask was.


	5. Nobody Told Us it Would Take This Long

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nobody tells you how hard it is to plan a wedding.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm sorry for not editing this part but I'm having a lot of trouble motivating myself to even keep posting this fic right now so... well here you go. I'm sorry.

Yuri’s groan was half a yell and Otabek could hear it from the kitchen where he was making them tea. Yuri continued to insist they didn’t like tea and yet they’d drink it anytime it was made for them. 

“What’s wrong?” Otabek asked, putting Yuri’s tea on the bedside table next to them before returning to their side of the bed. 

“I didn’t realize it would be so hard to make a guest list.”

Otabek chuckled, “Have you thought about the wedding party?” Yuri grunted in response, their face planted in their pillow. “Same here.”

“Have you thought of anyone?” Yuri asked, rolling over to look at Otabek. 

“My sister and brother, of course.” Yuri wished they had more family, that would have made this easier. “And I’ll probably ask one of my cousins I’m close to but I’m not sure he’ll be able to come. I’m not sure who will be able to come to the US for this.” 

“We should probably have Viktor and Yuuri in the party,” Yuri said, even though what they meant was that they wanted the two in their wedding party. “But should we split them up?”

“Even it out?” Otabek asked with a smirk. 

“And if they stand next to each other, who knows what they’ll get up to.” Otabek laughed at that. “Viktor should be on your side.”

“Why? I thought you’d want him with you.”

“He’s your coach.” Yuri pointed out. “And do you really even know Yuuri?”

“Sure I do…” Though, to be fair, Otabek had never talked to him much outside of Yuuri talking to Yuri. He also hadn’t talked to Viktor that much before training under him. “I guess you’re right.” 

“So for me, I have Yuuri, Mila, Avery, and… that’s it. I can’t think of anyone else.”

“Dima, Vika, Misha, Viktor, and JJ?”

“Nope.” Yuri said, “No JJ. He can come to the wedding and that’s it.”

“Yuri we were friends as teenagers.” Otabek smirked, “Are you really not over what he said to you. It was years ago.”

“He was an asshole!”

“You were too.” Otabek pointed out.

“I was 15.” Yuri pouted. “What about Isabella instead? She has some sense even if she did marry him.” 

Otabek laughed, “I’ll see what she thinks. What about Georgi?”

“Yah, I guess he should be in the wedding party too.” Yuri nodded, feeling bad for not putting him on the list to begin with. “I might ask Yuuko.” 

“That would be sweet,” Otabek said. “Then we have even parties.”

“We should figure out something for the old people to do in the ceremony.” Yuri said, “Lilia and Yakov would probably want to be involved.”

Again, they meant they wanted them involved but even to Otabek that was a hard thing to admit. 

“Then we have your parents, Mom, and Grandpa.” Yuri let out a long groan. “This is too hard.” 

“We’ll figure it out.”

Yuri smirked at Otabek. “Yuuri and Viktor would probably do all the planning if we asked them.”

“But then they’d plan our wedding and I don’t think you actually want that.” Otabek laughed, leaning over to kiss Yuri’s hair. It was a lot longer now, reaching to the middle of their back, just above the small of their back. It was soft and blond, though a little darker than when Otabek and Yuri first became friends. 

“There’s so much to do, “ They said, practically purring as Otabek ran his fingers through their hair. 

“We don’t have to do it all tonight.” 

“I know, I just want to get it done. We probably won’t have a lot of time once the season starts so we really need to get as much done as we can before that.”

Otabek paused, looking at his fiancé with concerned eyes. “We can take it slow.”

“I know…” Yuri said even as they were still looking through documents. 

“Let’s stop for the night,” Otabek suggested, putting his now empty cup down and pulling Yuri’s head into his lap so he could braid their hair. For a moment they seemed to resist Otabek’s tugging but, in the end, they let Otabek play with their hair. It always felt good to have Otabek braid their hair so as much as they wanted to do more wedding planning, they were happy to oblige Otabek’s silent request. “And maybe we can go to bed early.”

“Sounds good to me,” Yuri answered, a smile on their face as they did their best to think less about how much wedding planning still needed to be done and more about how nice it was to spend quiet time with Otabek. 

\---

Yuri cursed under their breath, pulling the pan quickly off the stove. They weren’t used to this stove and had almost burned the filling they were making. 

_“Language.”_ Otabek called from the living room because he apparently had superhuman hearing. 

_“Oh come on.”_ Yuri rolled their eyes. “Noa, could you even hear me?”

“What?” Noa looked up from the nearby island, where she was reading what looked like a Russian children’s chapter book. Yuri wasn’t sure they were at that high of a reading level when they were Noa’s age but that might have been because from a young age Yuri had decided they hated school. 

_“See?”_ Yuri called back to Otabek. _“Anyways, she’ll be learning curses soon enough. She is eleven.”_

_”Just because you learned curses when you were eleven doesn’t mean everyone does._

In the other room, Otabek was sitting at the table with Andrew on his lap. The boy had been in his room for a while after Yuuri and Viktor left but had eventually come out. He seemed pretty torn up that they were leaving for a whole weekend, they were going up to visit Phichit and Seung-gil, and had quietly walked up to Otabek and put his arms out for a hug. It had almost broken his heart and he’d gladly gave the boy a hug and pulled Andrew into his lap after grabbing him paper and some crayons. Now he was quietly drawing some flowers and trees, something Otabek had seen him draw many times. 

“So, you still like plants?”

“Yah, they’re nice.”

“Do you have any plants of your own?”

Andrew nodded, “Yuri got me one before and Dad and Papa bought me some. A lot of them have to stay in the living room. Dad said my room doesn’t have enough sun.”

“Plants need light to live.”

Andrew fell silent, returning to his drawing and even though Otabek thought it sounded strange, he found that Andrew’s drawing didn’t have the amount of feeling it usually did.

“Andrew, is something wrong?”

“No,” he said unconvincingly. 

“Andrew, you can talk to me.”

“Why’d Dad leave?”

Otabek blinked at the back of Andrew’s head, feeling stupid for not realizing the source of Andrew’s moodiness. 

“He went to visit his friends. You remember Phichit and Seung-gil, right? You were at their wedding.”

“I remember.” 

“Well, Phichit and your dad are old friends and it’s been a bit since they’ve seen each other.”

“Why’d they leave us behind?”

Otabek chuckled, putting his arms around the small boy to pull him into a tight hug. “Sometimes parents want to do stuff by themselves just like you. Don’t you sometimes want to do stuff alone?”

“I guess…” Andrew sighed, the sound strange coming from a five-year-old. 

“Did you want to see Phichit and Seung-gil again?”

“I like Seu– Seu–” Andrew grimaced, pausing before trying again. “I like Seung-gil.”

“Yah?”

“I met him at the, umm, wedding. He’s like you and I like you too.”

“Thank you.” Otabek smiled, feeling warm and thinking again about what he overheard his mom say. 

Did he want kids? 

“Dinner will be ready soon,” Yuri called, sitting down hard next to Noa. “Everything is in the oven.”

“Thanks for cooking, kótik.” 

Yuri turned red and Noa giggled at the nickname. Yuri gave Otabek a glare but Otabek only winked in response, which would have seemed out of character except Yuri had started to learn that Otabek could be more than a little cheeky when he wanted to be. 

“Anytime, Medvezhonok.” Yuri shot back, again making Noa giggle. Otabek rolled his eyes but Yuri could see he was blushing heavily. Feeling they won, Yuri turned to look at Noa. “How in the world can you understand us?”

“Dad and Papa talk in Russian, Japanese, and English.” She explained. “And I was already learning them so I picked it up. Reading was harder but once I learned the alphabet, I realized I knew a lot of Russian.”

“I’m jealous, it took me years to get my English to be any good.”

“Russian is a lot like English.” Noa shrugged. “A lot of the words sound the same.”

“If you say so.” Yuri wasn't sure they believed her even while they started thinking about all the words that were similar. “Do you have to take a language in school?”

“Last year I started French. I'm taking level three next year.”

“What about two?”

“Skipped through self-study,” She explained. “I did the same thing with math. I'm two levels ahead there.”

Otabek’s mouth was a thin line as he observed the conversation happening between Yuri and Noa. 

“That's a lot,” He finally said. “Don't you think you should… slow down?”

“Why, she's doing great?” Yuri seemed confused. “If you can be the best, you should be the best.”

“But she's in, what, sixth grade?”

“We were just as serious about skating at her age.” Yuri pointed out, missing Otabek’s point. “What's the problem with being driven?”

“We didn't live normal lives, Yura!” Otabek threw his arms out, one slapping against the wall. “Think about us or Viktor. Think about JJ. We're all not normal. You were basically my first friend because I didn't know how to make friends. I was eighteen and I think JJ was my only friend even though I didn't really talk to him.”

“I don't understand.” 

“You wouldn't.” He paused, not having meant for his words to be so biting. “That's not what I meant.”

“Then what did you mean?” Yuri was frustrated and annoyed, not understand their fiancé and not sure why he was so annoyed at the moment. 

“I mean that you don't know how to slow down either.”

It was a thought that had been building in Otabek’s head for a while now, ever since his mom put the idea of children in his head. He wanted to ask Yuri about kids even before he was sure he wanted them. Now, as he became more and more certain, he found himself wondering if Yuri would ever want kids. 

His thoughts had been on JJ, whose career was changed by having children. He would have been a consistent gold medalist if he hadn't started taking time off to take care of his kids when Isabella went back to work. Otabek thought it was admirable that he cared so much about his family and about what his wife wanted. He wasn't sure Yuri would agree. 

If they had even one kid, one of them would have to stop skating. It was too demanding to be training and taking care of a baby. Even if Otabek was the one to do that, and he wasn't opposed to that idea, Yuri would still need to be around. They couldn't just leave everything to Otabek. 

He just didn't know if Yuri could slow down, let alone if they wanted to. 

“I know how to slow down,” Yuri asserted unconvincingly. 

“You don’t.” A timer went off in the kitchen and Yuri stood quickly, heading to take dinner out and leaving the others.

Otabek sighed, wondering where all his anger had come from. He wasn’t particularly tired or stressed at the moment, at least he hadn’t thought he was, but there wasn’t much else to explain why he was feeling so agitated. 

“Umm…” Otabek looked over at an uncertain Noa. “Uncle Otabek, did I make you guys fight?”

“No, not at all,” Otabek insisted. “That had nothing to do with you. That was just me worrying about Yura.”

Yuri brought out a plate of piroshki and set it down on the kitchen table without saying anything to Otabek, who was helping Andrew to clean off the table. They turned to head back to the kitchen for something and Otabek caught their wrist, tugging them back gently. Yuri turned, looking hesitantly at Otabek like they wanted to be angry but also didn’t know how things had gotten so bad.

“I’m sorry,” Otabek said, pressing a small kiss into Yuri’s lips. “I just worry about you sometimes.”

“I know. I’ll try to slow down, I swear.”

“That’s all I want.” Otabek smiled. “Now why don’t we eat?”

“That sounds amazing.” Yuri turned to smile at Noa and Andrew. “After this dinner, you’ll know what the best food in the world tastes like.”

“Papa and Dad say katsudon is the best food,” Noa asserted. 

Yuri smirked, “They’re almost right. Now come try these.” 

As they chatted and joked through dinner, Otabek became more certain that he needed to talk to Yuri about kids because he was pretty sure he wanted some.


	6. A Long List of Friends

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri had decisions to make and realizations to come to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a new computer but because of that I can't actually edit this... I'm entirely doing this on my phone and it's tiring... Sorry, y'all.

Yuuri answered the door to a nervous looking Yuri. They were alone, strange because both they and Otabek were coming for dinner tonight, and they were early. 

“Is everything alright?” Yuuri asked immediately, making room for Yuri to move past him. Even with the room, Yuri stayed outside the door. 

“Yah, it's fine.” Yuri’s eyes shifted from side to side as if they were worried about being seen here. “I just need to ask you a favor.”

“What's up?” Yuuri asked, not sure if he should step outside.

“Could you… umm… can you give me Phichit’s phone number?”

“Phichit?” Yuuri blinked, confused by Yuri’s request. 

“Yes! Like your friend.”

“I know who Phichit is.” Yuuri raised his eyebrow. “My question was why?”

“No reason!” Yuri answered before adding, “Just need to ask him something.”

“Okay, you don't have to yell.” Yuuri scrunched his eyebrows together. “Are you sure you're okay?”

“Really,” Yuri sighed, “I'm fine.”

“Okay, I'll text you his number. Are you and Otabek still coming for dinner?”

“Yah, he'll be over in a little bit.” Yuri sighed again, Yuuri glancing between his phone Yuri’s face, worried. 

“Yuri, is there anything you want to talk about?”

“I'm fine.” They waved him away. “Just need a second opinion on something.”

\---

They knew Yuuri was going to be pissed at them for not showing up to practice today. Otabek was at a local gym with Viktor and a few other skaters working out and Yuri, along with most of the rest of their students, were training on the ice with Yuuri. 

They'd said goodbye to Otabek after they both had to go in different directions, then they found a café far from the rink and ordered a hot chocolate to sit outside with. It was a little hot to do that but they didn't want to bother the people inside by making a call. 

When had they started thinking so much about being a good citizen? 

When Phichit picked up the phone, he answered in Thai first, it was an instinct, and then in English when the phone responded only with silence while Yuri tried to get the courage to speak. 

“Hello?” Phichit tried again and Yuri took a deep breath. 

“Hello, Phichit. This is Yuri.”

“...Yuuri?”

“Plisetsky.”

“Oh!” Phichit laughed from his side of the phone. “I didn't know you had my number.”

“Yuuri gave it to me.”

“Oh, that makes sense.” The pair got quiet, Phichit unsure why Yuri was calling and Yuri unsure of what to say. “Yuri? Is something wrong?”

“No.” Yuri shook their head despite the inability of Phichit to see them. “I… I was calling because… well, I needed some advice and I didn't know who else to ask   
Yuuri and Viktor wouldn't really be able to help and Avery is too young. I know you're not the same but I don't know anyone else other than Avery and like I said, they're not really someone I can ask–”

“Yuri.” Yuri swore they could hear in Phichit’s voice the fact that he was used to using this tone with Yuuri. “Slow down and explain what you're talking about.”

“I'm, you know, nonbinary?” Why had they made that a question? It had been years and they were still so uncomfortable with themself sometimes. “And I'm getting married in a few months.”

“Okay?”

“You're not nonbinary but you, umm, you wearing makeup and dresses and stuff.” Yuri bit their lip. “You got married.”

Phichit smiled, not used to Yuri acting so uncertain. 

“Yes, I did get married. You were at my wedding.”

“It's just… we're going with a more western style wedding because it's easier for us than trying to figure out how to mix two traditions that are still heavily based on a bride and a groom.”

“That's what a lot of us did.” Phichit laughed. “I think we all just wanted things to be as easy as possible.”

“But I got to thinking, a man wears a tuxedo or a suit and a woman wears a dress. But… I'm neither.” Phichit waited as Yuri seemed to be collecting their thoughts. “I guess my question is, you could have worn either. Why'd you pick a suit.”

“Dresses are expensive,” Phichit said. “And I wanted to match Seung-gil, though now I'm wondering if I could have convinced him to wear a dress…” Phichit laughed to himself. “But I did think about it. I'd be lying if I said I didn't think about what other people expected of me. My family, his family; they expected a suit or a tuxedo since we'd both insisted on a more western wedding with only some traditions pulled from our home countries. Small things like paying respects to my ancestors and letting those birds go free were enough for my family to be mostly okay, mostly thanks to my older sisters smoothing things over with my grandparents. But the idea of trying to explain myself simply because I was wearing a dress? That was too much and I was more than happy to wear a suit.”

“I guess… I have no idea what to do.”

“It’s not easy,” Phichit admitted. “But it’s your choice.” 

“But I don’t know what to choose.”

“Well, it’ll be more expensive but you could always do both.”

“Both?”

“Sometimes brides have two dresses, one for the ceremony and one for the reception. You could wear a suit for one and a dress for the other.” Yuri was silent for a long time and Phichit laughed. “Did I give you some good advice?”

“Yah… I’ll have to talk to Beka about it but… Thanks.”

“Anytime, really.” Phichit smiled on his end of the phone. “You know, now that Seung-gil and I are living close to New York City, we can visit more. We might visit some time soon and maybe you and Yuuri and I can go shopping.”

“That sounds… nice.” Yuri blinked, uncertain about something but also uncertain what that something was. “Thanks for your help.”

“Again, anytime.” 

“I’ll… talk to you later.” 

“Talk to you later, Yuri.” 

They hung up and were left with the feeling that things had changed without them realizing it. When they were growing up they didn’t have a lot of friends. They might even say they had no friends. Mila and Viktor and Georgi were sort of their friends but they hadn’t had time for friends, at least that’s what they convinced themself at the time. Then there was Yuuri and Otabek. Then Phichit and Minami and Guang Hong and Sara. Avery and their other rinkmates. 

It was strange because suddenly Yuri realized that without noticing they’d grown up. And, of course they had. They were twenty-four, after all. But it still seemed sudden because it had snuck up on them. When had they gone from angry, young, and alone to a mostly even keeled adult with more friends than they’d thought they needed in their teenage years? 

Sometimes Viktor still treated them like a kid but that was to be expected, he’d more or less watched Yuri grow up. They were, on the whole, treated like an adult and they’d never even noticed which was insane since when they were younger that was all the wanted. 

They were getting married. They worried about bothering people by make a call. They had friends that wanted to get together and go shopping. 

“Weird.” The muttered as their phone started to ring, _Katsudon_ poping up on screen. Yuri sighed and ignored the call, deciding to wait until tomorrow to get yelled at. 

\---

“Why do you three get to hang out?” Viktor complained. 

“Because you and Yuuri spend too much time together.” Phichit explained. “And someone needs to watch your kids.”

Yuri snickered at Viktor’s whining, wondering how an old man like him could act like such a child all the time. 

“But I love going shopping!” Viktor wasn't apparently ready to give up. “Otabek and Seung-gil can watch the kids.”

“Viktor.” Yuuri raised an eyebrow at Viktor. “You know you promised Noa that you'd help her with math today.”

“Yah, I know.” Viktor deflated. “I just wish you guys told me you were planning to visit.”

“You and Seung-gil can help Noa with math.” Phichit said, grabbing Yuuri and Yuri to pull them away. “We'll send you pictures.”

\---

“I don’t know about this.” Yuri said from the dressing room, staring at themself with a set of critical eyes they never seemed to notice they used only on themself. 

According to Phichit the dress had an a-line skirt and a high waist—he seemed to think that would be perfect for Yuri—coupled with something called a queen anne neckline. In Yuri’s opinion, it should just be called the weird shoulder cap neckline but they hadn’t been asked to whatever fashion meeting had named the varying necklines.

“Let us see it, at least!” Phichit called from outside, an impatient and bubbly counter to Yuuri’s constant caution. 

“Only if you want to,” Yuuri chimed in as if he could hear Yuri’s thoughts on the Phichit-Yuuri dynamic. 

The dress fell to Yuri’s mid-thigh and was, according to both Phichit and the saleswoman working with them, ‘perfect for dancing.’ But Yuri didn’t care about dancing, not really, they were more fixated on the fact that they had no idea how they felt about the dress. 

They’d still never left their apartment in the dress Yuuri got them. 

It wasn’t that they disliked dresses but instead they disliked how other people reacted when they wore them. Yuri knew that their dislike of dresses stemmed from this, from other people, and that bothered them to no end. They wanted to be able to walk around wearing whatever they felt like on any given day without worrying about the looks they’d get on the subway or the way the barista would ask harshly for their name. They wished they had Phichit’s confidence—he’d worn a skirt today and Yuri suspected it was supposed to be to make Yuri feel more confident—but after years of having to care what other people thought, it was hard to not be hurt by the looks and the words and the rude tones. 

“I just think I look stupid,” Yuri admitted, sliding the curtain back but not stepping out of the dressing room. 

Phichit smirked, “I mean, you always look a little stupid but I think that’s just your face.”

“Phichit!” Yuuri gave Phichit an exasperated look but Phichit just laughed.

“What?” Phichit tried to look innocent but quickly started to giggle.

Yuuri rolled his eyes and turned to smile at Yuri. “You don’t look stupid. I think that dress is the best one you’ve tried on.”

Phichit’s laughter petered out and he smiled at Yuri. “Yuuri’s right. This is the best one yet.”

Yuri smiled, it was slight but there, and looked back at the mirror wondering if maybe they needed to learn how to better deal with the scrutiny of others. It had been years since they came out to the skating world, and by extension the rest of the world, so it seemed silly to them that they’d still be so completely incapable of defining themself without thinking about others. Maybe it was time they took to heart the lessons they’d tried to teach themself years ago. Maybe it was time they put into practice all the mantras they’d shouted in their mind for the year or two after coming out. 

“I like it to,” Yuri told them softly. “I think I’m going to get this for the reception.” 

“You’ll look amazing.” Yuuri told them.

“Thanks.” Yuri turned to look at their friends. “Both of you, for everything.”


	7. A Certain Type of Longing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Otabek just needed to stop dragging his feet and ask what he wanted to ask. 
> 
> Also, a small look at the Katsuki family's life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, apologies for this being unedited. Life has been crazy.

Viktor, Yuri, and Otabek were talking quietly to each other, half talking about the upcoming wedding and half talking about the upcoming World Championship where Otabek would announce his retirement. Yuri had argued he shouldn't retire yet but Otabek had said he was going to be 27 this year and that he really wasn't that competitive anyone. 

He had other reasons but he wasn't ready to talk to Yuri about those quite yet. 

The front door swung open but nobody greeted the entrance, which was what Noa and Yuuri usually did when they got back from rugby. 

Noa had gotten pretty serious into rugby despite still being in middle school. She was good and having a travel team relatively close – Long Island was a little far to go but Yuuri and Viktor could manage it easily – meant she got exposure not just to other good players but she also was already being exposed to higher level play. Less ideally, at least in Yuuri’s opinion, she was already drawing the eyes of scouts even though she wasn't even a teenager yet. He thought the attention was too much too soon but Viktor seemed to think as long as they managed it well, she'd be fine. Yuuri tried his best to believe Viktor’s assurances since he had experience being a young genius athlete. Unfortunately, that comparison was part of what scared Yuuri.

 **“Welcome home.”** Viktor managed, looking worriedly at the silent pair. Yuuri had a storm look on his face and Noa was looking at her shoes. 

**“I'm home.”** She called belatedly, sounding downtrodden. When she looked up, the group at the table realized she had a pretty serious bruise forming on her cheek. 

“Noa!” Viktor was out of his chair in an instant, “Baby, are you alright–”

Yuuri put a hand up to stop Viktor. 

“She's fine. Why don't you tell Papa where you got that bruise.”

Yuri and Otabek looked at each other, suddenly wishing they were anywhere but here. 

“I got hit,” Noa answered but Yuuri kept looking at her expectantly and she finally cracked. “Fine! I got in a fight! But I didn't start it.”

“Noa.” There was a warning in Yuuri’s voice but she just looked at him defiantly, her mouth a set line. 

“I didn't! He was being mean to my friends!”

“Noa, you can't hit people,” Viktor said, his voice soft but somehow still firm. “Fighting isn't good.”

“Don't treat me like a child!” She shouted but then seemed to immediately regret it and turned in on herself. Yuri had never seen her look so small in that moment as if she expected to be hit again. Or at least be shouted at. “I just wanted to protect my friends.”

Otabek saw Andrew appear in the hallway, just outside of the main room but close enough that he could see and hear everything. The boy was always quiet and small but now he seemed to barely exist. 

“Fighting people isn't the answer. You could have hurt him really bad.” Yuuri’s face and voice dissolved into worry. “You could have been hurt really bad.”

“But if I don't protect them then they might leave.” Noa looked back down at the ground. “Then I wouldn't have any friends.”

“Noa, they aren't going to leave the team.” Yuuri insisted. 

Viktor crouched down, looking at her in the eyes as best he could. 

“What do you mean you wouldn't have any friends?”

“They're my only friends.” She mumbled. “But they wouldn't hang out with me outside of rugby anyways so if they stop playing rugby then I won't have friends.”

Viktor stood, leading her to the living room while Yuuri looked on uncertainly. Once she was sitting on the couch Viktor continued. 

“What about school?”

“Everyone is mean in school and I don't like it.” Noa sniffled. “I would want someone to tell them to stop being mean but I don't have friends to do that.”

“Noa, slow down.” Viktor put a hand on her shoulder and now Yuuri walked over to sit on the other side of her. “Why didn't you tell us kids were being mean to you?”

“I can handle it.” She responded. 

“What do they say?” Yuuri asked. “Is that why you don't want to talk about it?”

Noa was suddenly very still and very quiet. It wasn't until Andrew hurried to the living room to squeeze between Yuuri and Noa, leaning over to hug Noa, that she broke into tears and words. 

“They say I'm weird ‘cause I go to a different class for math and French. Some of them make fun of how I say some words.” Yuuri and Viktor hadn't expected Noa’s barely perceptible accent to be a problem but apparently, they'd been wrong. Her mother had had an accent and so did Yuuri and Viktor so there were just some things that Noa said with an accent, usually a Japanese accent. “They say other stuff too.”

“Other stuff?” Yuuri asked, trying to mask the surprise he felt. He would never have guessed Noa was hiding this from them. Sometimes he forgot how independent she'd forced herself to be when she was younger and how profoundly that had affected her. 

“They say mean things about you guys and about Mom. But I can't make them stop. I've ignored them and I've told them to stop but they don't. I can't fight them because there's too many of them.”

“And there’s nobody to fight for you.” Viktor filled in, smoothing Noa’s hair back. “Baby, you have to tell us these things. We're here to fight for you.”

She sniffled, her tears starting to dry up as she leaning against Viktor. 

“I can do it myself.”

“But you don't have to.” Viktor put his arms around her to pull her into a tight hug, Yuuri and Andrew following suit. “No more fighting in rugby, okay? You don't have to. Just show them on the field who's best.”

She nodded and reached up to wipe tears from her cheeks. 

“You're still in trouble for fighting,” Yuuri told her. “But we love you and we're here for you, okay?”

She nodded again, shaking a little as she started crying again all while Otabek and Yuri watched without really watching. The shared a look at got up quietly to go stand in the kitchen, giving the family some room while they both thought silently about family. 

\---

“Yura, are you still awake?” Otabek asked as they lay in bed later that night. 

“I am. What's up?”

“They're a good family, aren't they?”

“Who?”

“The Katsuki family.”

“Oh, yah, they are.”Yuri smiled to themself. “It was great to see how happy Viktor was about adopting them. He was so afraid of being a bad dad but he's pretty good at it.”

“He was afraid?”

“His parents were shit when he was growing up so I think he was afraid of being like them.” Yuri frowned. “He’s talking to his mother again but I'm not sure she's even met the kids.”

“What do you think about kids?” Otabek asked, hoping he wasn't bringing this up too soon. 

“Noa and Andrew are great,” Yuri answered, misunderstanding the question. “They're both great kids even if Noa is getting too tall too quickly. If she ends up taller than me I'm going to be so angry.”

Otabek chuckled, “If she's almost taller than you now then Andrew will probably be Viktor’s height.”

“Fuck, I didn't think about that.” Yuri shook their head. “Wonder who will be taller, Noa and Andrew or JJ’s kids.”

Otabek laughed. “Who knows? Isabella isn't that tall so they might not be tall.”

“The kids who are really screwed are Georgi’s. Mariya is so short.”

“She really is.” Otabek smiled. “About JJ’s kids, I meant to ask you something about them.”

“What?”

“What did you think about JJ putting more time into family than skating.”

“It was good for me,” Yuri answered jokingly before getting more serious. “I was impressed by how he reacted when people implied he was doing something wrong. Isabella really likes being a doctor and he really loves his family so it made sense. If I were him, I would have waited until I was done with skating.”

“Oh, really?”

“He had to know he'd be the one taking care of the kids most of the time. It's not even like they could drop them with their grandparents since they're his coaches.”

“Have you ever thought about what you'd do if you had kids.”

“Beka, do I have to remind you that I can't have kids?”

“You're hilarious.” Otabek turned over so Yuri could see him rolling his eyes. The room’s lights were off but the light from their window was enough for Yuri to see the eye roll. “But really, what do you think about kids? In general.”

“Beka… is this a hypothetical or are you asking me?”

Otabek wanted to say it was hypothetical because then he could back down. Then he didn't have to worry as much about what Yuri would say. But they were getting married in less than two months and this was something he needed to ask. 

“I'm asking.”

“Oh…” Yuri blinked at him, slow and owl-like. “I didn't know you were thinking about kids.”

“I wasn't thinking that seriously but then Mom asked if we were planning to have kids and I got thinking. And we spend so much time around the Katsuki’s and almost all our friends have kids now…”

“It's true.” 

Yuri had been so focused on skating they hadn't put much thought into how many of their friends — it was still strange to think of them as that since Yuri had spent so long thinking they had very few friends — had kids. Chris and Luca were the only ones they could think of without at least one kid. Hell, Guang Hong and Leo already had three and Phichit had hinted they were thinking about adopting another kid. 

“I honestly hadn't thought much about it.” Yuri reached out to touch Otabek’s cheek. “Is this why you wanted to retire.”

“I wasn't lying about my other reason.” He insisted. “But, yes, this was a consideration. I like kids and I like taking care of them. I'm not asking you to make a decision now, or ever, just wanted to bring it up.”

“I'll think about it, okay?” 

Yuri needed advice and they were pretty sure stop one would have to be Yuuri. He was the only person who wouldn't freak out if they mentioned the possibility. They would talk to Grandpa or Mom but they were sure both would overreact. Maybe Yakov or Lilia would be even-keeled but they thought Yuuri was a good place to start. He was the person Yuri had gone to also every other time they needed someone to talk to. 

“That's fine. Don't worry about answering anytime soon, we need to wait until after the wedding anyway.”

“Okay.” Yuri leaned over and gave Otabek a quick peck on the lips. “Good night, love you.”

“Love you too.”


	8. I’ve Waited Too Long to be Scared of This

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Well, I’m happy for you.” Yuuri pulled away and the look on his face was a smile Yuri wasn’t sure they’d seen on his face before. It was a soft smile, almost content but not quite. Instead, there was a twinge of parental pride that Yuri wasn’t used to even from their mother and grandfather. “You’ve grown so much.”
> 
> “Oh shut up, now you really sound like a dad.” It was Yuri’s turn to laugh, the sound caught between a real laugh and a scoff. “I’m just getting married. It’s not like I won The Olympics.”

“Yurio? Yuri?” Yuri blinked at Yuuko, who blinked back. There was a moment where they weren’t sure why Yuuko was there but that didn’t last long. 

“Yah?” They asked hoarsely, wondering where all this anxiety came from. 

“Are you alright?”

“Yah.” 

Before Yuuko could ask any more questions, the door opened and the rest of Yuri’s wedding party stomped into the room because, with the exception of Yuuri, they were all just about the loudest people in the world. Even Avery was being louder than usual, which Yuri blamed on the fact that they were talking to Mila. 

“About time you showed up.” Yuri was doing their best not to smile at their friends but was failing. “Where have you all been?”

“Some of us have families that need to be attended to.” Mila stuck her tongue out at Yuri. 

Yuri returned the gesture, reveling in the childishness of the action in face of everything else going on. They were caught in a loop of uncertainty where they felt too young one moment and too old another. They were so unused to being an adult, even after years of being just that, especially in the presence of so many people that had always made them feel so young. At one point that had annoyed them but now… they didn’t think they minded much. 

_“Who’re you feeling?”_ Inna asked, walking over to stand by her child, Nikolai close on her heels. 

_“Fine,”_ Yuri lied, not really wanting to talk about their ever-increasing anxiety. They didn’t know why they felt the need to lie, but it seemed easier than admitting anything was wrong.

Maybe they still sometimes felt like they needed to protect their family. 

Inna pulled Yuri into a tight hug, whispering in their ear, _“I know you’re nervous but you can tell us. We’re not going to think less of you.”_

Unexpected tears welled up in Yuri’s eyes and they found they were unsure where they came from. Maybe it was the fact that they loved their family despite a lifetime of physical distance. Maybe it was that things had changed without really changing at the same time. Maybe it was that everything felt so much better than it used to.

 _“Thanks, Mom.”_ Yuri leaned into the hug, feeling at peace in that moment. 

Inna stepped back and Nikolai — who was doing his best to not cry but failing because no matter how gruff he looked, the old man was a huge softie — stepped over to fix Yuri’s tie. 

_“You still can’t tie a tie.”_ He said, his voice uneven as he tried to keep his composure. _“How long has it been?”_

 _“I can tie them just fine.”_ Yuri smiled at Nikolai. _“But you can fix it if you want.”_

Once he finished with the tie, Nikolai pulled Yuri into a tight hug. _“You know I love you, right?”_

_”Of course.”_

With his piece done, Nikolai stepped back and for a moment Yuri thought nobody else was going to try to talk to them. Then they noticed Yuuri looked uncertain about something and Yuri could only roll their eyes. 

“Katsudon, what’s up?”

“Huh? Oh, I just didn’t want to–”

“Yuuri.” Yuri leveled Yuuri with a withering look and Yuuri chuckled.

“Sorry, just didn’t want to intrude on the moment.” He stepped over and after a moment’s hesitation pulled Yuri into a hug. “It’s not like I’m your dad or anything.”

“Some people might disagree,” Yuri joked, feeling soft today. “But you’re not intruding. You and that old man of yours somehow wormed your way into my life so I sort of had to get used to it.”

Yuuri laughed at that and Yuri was happy like they always were to know that they were someone who could make Yuuri laugh. They were happy to know that Yuuri was someone they could count as not just a friend but family. They were happy that Yuuri was not just here now but had been there for a long time, quietly at first but now so big a part of Yuri’s life. It was hard to imagine life without him even if Yuri wasn't soft enough yet to voice that thought.

“Well, I’m happy for you.” Yuuri pulled away and the look on his face was a smile Yuri wasn’t sure they’d seen on his face before. It was a soft smile, almost content but not quite. Instead, there was a twinge of parental pride that Yuri wasn’t used to even from their mother and grandfather. “You’ve grown so much.”

“Oh shut up, now you really sound like a dad.” It was Yuri’s turn to laugh, the sound caught between a real laugh and a scoff. “I’m just getting married. It’s not like I won The Olympics.” 

“Yuri, you won The Olympics like three years ago.”

Yuri shrugged and laughed, “And that was something for you to be proud of. This is just tying up some loose ends.”

Yuuri laughed and so did everyone else in the room, everyone aware that Yuri didn’t really mean what they said. 

There was truth in their nonchalance, sure, but this day still meant so much to them. They were nervous, sure they were nervous, but those nerves were already starting to fade as they imagine standing next to Otabek in their matching suits. 

Closing their eyes, Yuri imagined them holding hands and saying their vows. They imagined Otabek crying and maybe stumbling over his words which would just make Yuri smile and love him even more. 

They could see both their family and their ‘extended family’ crying—Mila would probably be the only one not crying—through the ceremony. They imagined that Nikolai and Yerlan forgetting about how they wanted a Russian and Kazekh ceremony, respectively, and instead doing their best not to cry because they were tough men who didn’t cry. Yuri was sure they’d both fail and join the rest of the old people in dabbing their eyes in the most regal of manners. 

“Yuri, are you ready?” Yuuri was the one to ask since he was the one who needed to make sure Otabek’s side was ready. 

Yuri took a deep breath and opened their eyes, nodding at Yuuri. 

“I’m ready.” 

\---

“I’m not ready.” Yuri was staring at themself in the mirror, the anxiety from before the ceremony back even stronger. 

Behind them was Yuuri and Phichit, the only two they’d allow to come help them change for the reception. Mostly because they were two of five people who knew about the dress and Yuri wasn’t about to let other people in on it in case they chickened out. 

“You don’t have to be ready.” Yuuri reached a hand up to put on Yuri’s arm, trying to steady them. “You don’t even have to wear this. No one is going to think–”

“Less of me, I know.” Yuri finished, wishing that they still weren’t worried that someone would be disappointed. 

They just weren’t sure who would be more disappointed in them, the few who knew if they didn’t go through with this or the many who didn’t know and would be caught off guard by the dress. They hadn’t even told Nikolai or Inna and were more than a little worried about what they’d think. Sure, Yuri sometimes wore skirts and dresses when in private but they’d still not gotten up the courage to wear anything in public so the only people who knew were Otabek, Viktor, Yuuri, Avery, and Phichit. And Noa and Andrew, but they didn’t really count the kids since they were growing up in a different time and with a different mindset than everyone else Yuri knew. 

The point was, Yuri still hadn’t gotten the confidence to wear a skirt in public and now they were going to walk out into their wedding reception wearing a wedding dress and that was scarier than getting married would ever be. Yuri wanted to get married—was so damn ready for it—but this… They wanted it, sure, but were they ready? These pictures would be online sooner than you could say, ‘don’t post these pictures online’ and Yuri was well aware that the moment they were seen there would be an explosion online. Were they ready for that? If their family and friends reacted poorly to the dress did they also want to have to deal with the public’s reaction? 

“Yuri, I know I’m usually the one to say just do it,” Phichit crossed his arms, “but I’m not going to say that right now. You don’t have to do this and you shouldn’t if you don’t want to.”

“I know… but I do want to do it I just…” 

Yuri wasn’t good at admitting their mistakes but they thought they might have made a big one in not even trying to ease their family into the fact that they like wearing skirts. This would be a big shock even if they were fine with it. And they were sure Nikolai and Inna would be fine with it but there was still part of them that felt conflicted. Or, not conflicted. Terrified. 

Yuri took a deep breath and looked at themself in the mirror for a long time. They like the dress. They liked how it felt. They liked how they looked. They were comfortable. Otabek loved them no matter what. Yuuri and Phichit and Viktor and Avery would still be there no matter what. They were afraid, sure, but they could do this.

“I want to.” Their words held more conviction, their face set in confident smile they usually only wore during competition. “And I’m going to because I look damn good.”

Yuuri laughed and after a moment Phichit did too, both surprised and comforted by Yuri’s confidence. Since pulling out of puberty, Yuri had lost a lot of the loud confidence they’d been known for but they still had a lot of soft confidence and every so often they’d find it in them to pull out that same aggressive confidence they’d partially left behind. 

Because they were Yuri Plisetsky. They were the number one male skater in the world, they were nonbinary, and they were ready to do the thing they’d grown up doing—turning heads.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There two more chapters until the end of this part and I might have to take a hiatus. My nanowrimo story has ballooned out of control and I haven't had time to work on this fic at all.


	9. Do You Know How Long I’ve Known You Were Perfect?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> He wasn't nervous because this was the perfect day and he was marrying the perfect person.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Back at it again, with those long chapter titles. 
> 
> God I'm so sorry, I didn't even realize it was wednesday until it was thursday.

He wasn’t nervous. If you asked him if he was nervous, he would have told you he wasn’t because he wasn’t nervous. He was married now and it was the best feeling in the world. He was married to his best friend and to the love of his life. He wasn’t nervous about marriage, it was what he’d wanted for years. And since he wasn’t nervous about that, he wasn’t nervous at all because there was nothing to be nervous about.

“We’re ready when you are.” He suddenly noticed that the door had opened and Viktor was talking to Yuuri. When had the door opened? He wasn’t nervous. 

“Great, I’ll tell Yuri.” Yuuri waved at Otabek and he waved back, feeling numb and not at all nervous. “Otabek, you’re looking great.”

“Oh, umm, thank you.” Otabek wasn’t sure how to react to the compliment because he was never sure how to respond to compliments. “You look good too?”

Yuuri laughed and thanked Otabek before disappearing from the room, all while his friends and family snickered behind their hands. Well, Viktor, Isabella, and Mikhail all laughed behind their hands—Viktoria and Dmitry were obviously laughing at their brother’s awkwardness. For a lot of families, the youngest was the one the other siblings would pick on but growing up Otabek had always been the good-natured target of his older brother and younger sister. Now that they were older, that hadn’t changed much. 

_“Otabek, you’re not nervous are you?”_ Viktoria smirked at her brother. 

_“Of course not.”_

Otabek hadn’t been sure why his entire wedding party had decided to follow him when he was doing some quick touchups for the reception but now he guessed that most of them had come to insult him. Even if Mikhail was being nice right now, Otabek suspected he was having a good laugh right now. 

He loved his family but they could be the worst. Maybe that’s why he loved them. 

_“You’re sure?”_ Dmitry was practically cackling as he asked the question, enjoying this too much especially since he’d been a mess of nerves before his wedding. Otabek was pretty sure the only people here who had the right to make fun of him for being nervous were Isabella and Mikhail. 

_“Dima, Vika, I swear I will kill you both.”_ Otabek tried to glare at his siblings but they just laughed and he wondered why he ever thought he could intimidate them.

Finally, with a sigh he let himself smile at his laughing sibling because, for as annoying as they were, he was glad they were here. 

He was nervous. 

It was stupid to be nervous though. He had been nervous for the ceremony because he worried he’d trip over his words—he had—and that he’d start crying—again, he had— but this was different. He was nervous for a stupid reason now and it wasn’t one he was ready to tell anyone except…

“Otabek, you can be nervous.” Otabek noted that Viktor used English despite there only being one person in the room, Isabella, who didn’t speak Russian. It was considerate of him. “Do you want to talk about it.”

“Not really,” Otabek retorted honestly before sighing and answering in a low voice so only Viktor could hear. “I’m nervous about the dance.”

“Really?”

“Yuri is a lot better than me… I’m not much of a dancer myself and… what if I mess up?”

Viktor laughed despite himself, feeling bad about it but not being able to help it. He wasn’t perfect, after all. 

“Sorry, Otabek, it’s just… I never expected that.” Viktor forced himself to stop laughing. “You’re going to do fine out there and, like you said, Yuri is a great dancer. A great dancer can cover up for a good one’s mistakes.” He shook his head. “And don’t forget, just because you’re bad at ballet doesn’t mean you’re bad a dance. You’ll do just fine.” 

Otabek let out another sigh, suddenly noticing how tense his body was. Carefully, he forced himself to let out the tension from one part of his body at a time. This was a technique Yuuri taught him after noticing that Otabek tended to tense his entire body when he was anxious and that made his skating worse and made him more prone to injury. And it just generally helped him to calm down when he was starting to work himself up. 

“I know…”

“But you’re self-conscious.” Viktor smiled. “I’m married to the most talented man in the world, so I understand. But don’t worry, like my husband, your SO is a pretty great person and you’ll both do fine.” 

Otabek smiled slightly at Viktor, who wasn’t sure he’d ever seen Otabek smile because of something he said, then turned to look at his reflection for another moment. 

“Okay. Let’s go.” 

\---

Otabek was the one waiting for Yuri by the doors to the dance floor. Inside, everyone was waiting for the newlyweds to appear and everyone was starting to get antsy. 

Phichit had appeared and said Yuri was coming soon, only to disappear into the crowd around the dance floor before Otabek could ask if anything was wrong. 

“Do you think they’re okay?” Otabek asked Viktor who was waiting with Otabek until the Yuri’s showed up. 

“If they weren’t then Yuuri would have come to get us.” Viktor still was a little unsure about how to reassure people but he was getting better at it. He was a lot better than he used to be. 

“You’re right.” Otabek conceded, knowing Viktor was right even if he didn’t feel like it. “I know you’re right, I just–”

But any words Otabek had to say were lost because suddenly there was Yuri, looking uncertain but amazing. They were wearing a thigh-length white dress that, in Otabek’s opinion, looked amazing. Breathtaking, even. He’d seen Yuri in dresses and skirts before but there was something different about this one and he thought it was less to do with the dress and more to do with the fact that for as uncertain as Yuri looked, there was a great deal of confidence in their stride. 

In their hair were some pink flowers that complimented their hair and, currently, matched their cheeks. 

_“Yura,”_ Otabek breathed, taking a few steps towards Yuri who walked faster to meet him. When they met, Otabek pulled Yuri into a kiss without thinking.

 _“Wow, Beka, missed me that much?”_ Yuri joked, biting their lip. 

_“Of course,”_ Otabek responded with a soft smile while Yuuri ushered Viktor into the other room so he couldn’t smile at Otabek and Yuri. _“I miss you every moment you’re gone.”_

 _“You’re a sap.”_ Yuri punched Otabek in the arm, looking around wildly as their cheeks got even redder. _“Viktor’s really gotten to you.”_

Otabek leaned up to kiss Yuri’s jawline before grabbing their hand and dragging them towards the doorway. _“This had nothing to do with Viktor, it’s really all your fault.”_

 _“Whatever.”_ Yuri smiled even though they kept fidgeting. _“It’s okay ‘cause it’s you.”_

_“Yuri?”_

_“Yah?”_

_“You look amazing.”_

Yuri smiled, the blush on their face remaining in place as they found that as long as they were next to Otabek, it was hard to worry about anything at all. 

\---

There were a lot of reasons Yuri took lead in their first dance, the least of which was the fact that they were the taller of the two. There was also the fact that Yuri was the better dancer and also didn’t like to be led. They’d let Otabek lead if he asked, but as a rule, Yuri liked to be the one to lead.

So, when Otabek and Yuri stepped onto the dance floor after being announced—“May I introduce, the Plistesky’s”—Otabek had expected Yuri to start them with the music. But Yuri’s mind was so focused on how people were reacting to them that they missed the start of the music and Otabek had to quickly try to make up for the misstep. 

As they moved and turned on the dance floor, Otabek was only able to catch snippets of people’s reactions. Nikolai and Inna didn’t look that surprised, not like his family. His dad looked shocked, to say the least and maybe a little unhappy, though Otabek hoped that was just the low light and his anxiety playing tricks on him. His mom looked shocked but not unhappy. The same could be said about his siblings and really the large majority of his family. They were shocked, who wouldn’t be, but they weren’t unhappy. 

Yakov and Lilia didn’t even look surprised even though Otabek knew they hadn’t been told about this. He actually thought Lilia was making comments to Yakov about the quality of their dancing instead. Otabek hoped she wasn’t being too harsh on him. 

Guang Hong looked almost amazed and Otabek took that as a good sign. Yuuko and Takeshi were smiling contentedly like this was what they’d been waiting for. 

It didn’t take long for the song to end and the room to fall into silence before people clapped respectfully. Then the DJ announced the next dance. 

“For the next dance, the newlyweds have asked for some family to join them on the dance floor. Can Inna, Nikolai, Aliya, Yerlan, Yakov, Lilia, Viktor, and Yuuri please join this lovely couple on the dancefloor?”

Yuri smirked as Yuuri and Viktor looked stunned for a moment before Viktor started crying and Yuuri had to lead him to the floor since he couldn’t see very well. Yakov and Lilia gave Yuri a look that said ‘why are you making me dance with him/her’ but also had tears in their eyes. The rest of Otabek and Yuri’s families had known they were being called to the floor but they still looked misty-eyed, especially Inna and Aliya. 

The music started and Yuri smiled, leaning closer to Otabek as a song from so long ago in the past played. On Love: Agape had been their chosen song for their family dancing because of its implications about love in all its forms but also because it was from the season when Otabek and Yuri first became friends. 

“Beka?” Yuri murmured into Otabek’s ear.

“Yah?”

“I love you.”

Otabek smiled, closing his eyes for a moment. “I love you too.”

\---

 

 _“Yuri.”_ A strong voice startled Yuri from where they were standing, talking to Yakov and Lilia. 

_“Mr. Altin!”_ Yuri turned quickly to look at Otabek’s father. _“Are you having a good time?”_

 _“Yes, this is a nice party.”_ Yerlan answered, Aliya standing near him seeming to make sure he didn’t say anything rude. 

_“And you look nice, Yuri.”_ Aliya jumped in. _“The cut of that dress suits you.”_

 _“Thank you.”_ Yuri nodded to her with a small smile. _“That means a lot.”_

 _“Yes, well, I want to welcome you to our family even if you’re still a Plisetsky.”_ Yuri nearly raised their eyebrow at that, realizing that maybe Otabek got his awkwardness partially from his father. _“But I have a gift for you nonetheless. Please open it now.”_

Yuri took the small package from Yerlan and opened it carefully. Inside was an old looking jewelry box with what seemed to be a Russian name written—though it could be in Kazakh, Yuri was no expert. When they opened the box they found an old watch, sturdily built and relatively utilitarian. 

_“My grandfather gave this to my father on his wedding day and my father did the same for me. I would have given it to Beka but we discussed it and he said he’d rather it be given to you and I had no issues with that.”_ Yerlan seemed lost for words, his mouth moving slightly even though he wasn’t saying anything.

 _“Thank you.”_ Yuri supplied, giving Yerlan either time to think of something to say or a way to end this conversation. _“This means the world to me.”_

 _“I’m glad.”_ Yerlan nodded and Aliya smiled next to him. 

_“We’re so happy to have you as part of our family,”_ Aliya’s eyes closed as she smiled, her entire face looking practically ecstatic about this entire event. _“Now, when’s dinner?”_

The group chuckled at that and Yuri was able to relax, feeling like things really were turning out okay.

\---

“–we’re not trying to upend rules or anything–”

“–at least not this time–”

“–it’s just when you two skated together it was so beautiful–”

“What is going on?” Yuri asked, interrupting Avery in the middle of whatever they were saying to Yuuri and Viktor. Ela was also part of the conversation, having interjected into Avery’s seeming plea, but whatever was happening appeared to be mostly on Avery. They were always great at getting their way with Yuuri and Viktor. 

“These two want us to teach them to pair skate,” Yuuri said, partially exasperated and partially amused. 

“And I want to start skating as a single,” Ela added. “But the pair skating is just for fun.”

“What’s the problem then, Katsudon?” Yuri asked. “Let the kids have some fun.”

“It’s just sudden, is all.” Yuuri looked between Viktor and Yuri but found no support from either. “Fine, when you two come back from college we can do a little pair skating with the two of you. Happy?”

“Thank you!” Ela and Avery squealed in unison, both throwing their arms around Yuuri’s neck before turning to go back to the dancefloor with a wave. 

“They have a lot of energy,” Yuri commented as they watched the two begin to dance.

The dance floor was alive with people because, well, a lot of their guests loved to dance. Even Noa was out there, having a blast. Andrew was sitting at a table with Will and Jin-hee, though the young girl was mostly watching the other two talk since her English still wasn’t great. Guang Hong and Leo had decided to leave their kids home —three young girls name Rose, Hazel, and Nan—with Leo’s parents and both men seemed to be having the time of their lives. The oldest Leroy kid was dancing as well, looking like a little JJ simply thanks to his confidence on the dancefloor. Elisa, Mark, and Danielle were also sitting together, talking rather animatedly for kids who were not even four. 

“It’s kind of weird, you know,” Yuri said, leaning close to Otabek as they talked with Yuuri and Viktor. “Our friends have so many kids.” 

Yuuri and Viktor laughed but before either could respond, Mila had appeared in this circle. 

“Yuuri Katsuki! You, me, and Guang Hong are going to take some shots together.”

“Excuse me?” Yuuri raised an eyebrow at Mila. “We’re going to do what?”

“Guang Hong is supposed to be a monster.” Mila had on a predatory smile. “Come on, this is a half Russian wedding, we need to drink to the newlyweds.”

Yuuri started to protest but Mila was already grabbing him and pulling him towards a table.

“Viktor, tell him I’m right!”

“Well, to be fair, Yuuri, drinking is part of…”

Yuri and Otabek exchanged a look at the three left them to drink and finally they both burst out laughing. They watched from afar as Mila, Yuuri, and Guang Hong did shots.

At one point Minami wandered over and did a few with them—Guang Hong and Mila were each on their fifth shot and Yuuri was on his sixth—but eventually his husband, Yuuto, found him and dragged him away before he got to embarrassingly drunk. He’d already started complimenting Yuuri about everything he did and said so it was probably for the best. 

Leo eventually was dragged away by a drunk Guang Hong—he was eight in at that point—and the two left for their room around nine, right around when even the younger crowd was starting to leave. They all had to be out of the venue but ten so soon it would be back to the hotel, possibility for more drinking or just to sleep. Or, in some people’s cases, ‘sleep.’ 

Phichit and Seung-gil left around nine-thirty because Jin-hee was starting to look both tired and overwhelmed. 

Sara pulled Mila away after her ninth shot, a sleeping Elisa held tightly in the arm not dragging Mila towards the door. Viktor and Yuuri left not long after because Noa had fallen asleep at a table. JJ and Isabella had to leave for the same reason. 

The older members of the crowd had left much earlier so when Yuri and Otabek finally made it back to their hotel they were accompanied only by Viktoria and the Nishigori triplets—they were all around fourteen years old and so had easily convinced their parents to let them stay later. 

Before they left, though, Otabek pulled Yuri to a stop outside the front door of their venue. 

_“Yura…”_ Otabek sighed, tired but content. He reached out and pushed some hair behind Yuri’s ear that had fallen from their braid. _“This was amazing.”_

 _“It really was.”_ Yuri snaked their arms around Otabek’s waist, pulling him closer. _“I love you so much, you know that?”_

 _“I know…”_ Otabek returned Yuri’s embrace. _“I love you too.”_

They stood like that for a while in silence, comfortable in each other’s arms. They didn’t move until Viktoria came back looking for them, saying the bus was going to leave for the hotel. 

Even after they followed, they kept their hands tightly interlocked.

Otabek wondered why he was ever nervous about today and Yuri wondered how they’d ever worried about their dress. Everything had been as perfect as possible and they both felt silly for ever worrying because, of course, they loved each other and that was really all that matter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Next chapter is the last of part 2 and it looks like I will have to go on hiatus because nano is murdering me in that I just keep writing and it never ends. Which is also why I'm giving you another unedited chapter. I'm sorry.


	10. How Long Until We Figure Ourselves Out?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yuri thought they might have a long way to go—they seemed to end up thinking that a lot—but that they might just get there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Most of the sexual content and panic attack warnings are for this chapter.

Because everyone either had kids to take care of, were underage, or had already disappeared up to their hotel rooms, Yuri and Otabek didn’t stay down at the hotel bar for more than the time it took to have a single drink each. They were both pretty tired from the whole day so sleep seemed like a good idea. 

After what Yuri expected to be a few moments but turned into too many minutes, they groaned loud enough for Otabek to exit the bathroom, toothbrush still in his mouth. He hadn’t gotten changed yet, his suit jacket abandoned on the couch and his shirt partially unbuttoned. 

“Something wrong?”

“I can’t get this dress off. There’s a zipper and buttons and I’m pretty sure they’ve made the buttons impossible to undo.” 

Otabek chucked but Yuri sensed some nervousness from their husband. Otabek had been pretty much without anxiety since his parents gave Yuri their gift but as they’d gotten farther and farther from the venue, Yuri could feel him getting more anxious again. Yuri had gotten good at identifying when Otabek was nervous but was still pretty bad at identifying _why_.

“Okay, I’ll be out in a second.” Otabek returned to the bathroom and Yuri sat down on the bed with a huff, trying to figure out what could have gotten Otabek nervous. 

Did Yuri say something? Was he nervous about marriage? Was he already thinking about whether Yuri would say yes to kids? Had someone said something to him? 

There had to be something.

“Hey.” Yuri jumped at Otabek’s voice, having been so lost in their own thought that they didn’t hear the water turn off. 

“Sorry, wasn’t paying attention.” Yuri stood, turning their back to Otabek. “You think you can do this or will I have to go wake up Katsudon and Viktor to save me?”

Otabek chuckled again, his fingers feeling to Yuri like they were making easy work of the buttons. The thing Yuri couldn’t feel but Otabek could see was that his hands were shaking badly. He knew he was starting to overthink things again but he knew what he was doing. 

Once the buttons were done, Otabek undid the zipper too and, before he could overthink any more than he already had, he slid his hands under the dress so they were on Yuri’s shoulders. His hands were cold from the sink’s water and Yuri’s shoulders were warm, Yuri nearly recoiling simply due to the sudden cold on their skin. But they did because Yuri was always warmer than Otabek and they’d gotten more used to cold hands. Cold feet were another story.

“Beka?” Yuri turned their face a little to look at Otabek as he slid the dress off of Yuri, his movements feeling robotic to him even though Yuri thought nothing of the sort. 

“Yura, you were so beautiful tonight.” Otabek paused in his words even as his hands slid down Yuri’s arms. “Can I call you beautiful?”

“Of course.” 

Yuri felt unsure. This seemed so sudden and they weren’t complaining but they expected Otabek to at least mention his changing thoughts before making a move. Again, Yuri wasn’t exactly complaining. Their only real complaint was now that the dress was on the floor they were only in a pair of thin boxer briefs and it was cold in this room. The cold didn’t normally bother them but it was a little different when you were nearly naked. 

And even as they were thinking about how cold they were, Otabek’s hands on them were already making Yuri’s blood pump harder and their body was starting to warm. When Otabek’s lips found the sensitive area between their shoulder blades and just below the base of their neck, Yuri started to wonder how they’d ever thought it was cold in this room. 

Otabek’s hands slid off of Yuri’s arms and onto their thighs, his touch igniting Yuri’s blood as they wondered when would be a good time to move this to the bed. Their boxer briefs were starting to feel tight and they turned suddenly, Otabek’s hands losing their anchor for only a moment before Yuri guided Otabek’s hands to their butt.

Otabek’s face was deeply blushed when Yuri really looked at him and even as Yuri was leaning in to kiss Otabek—taking a few steps towards the bed as they did—they were worried about Otabek. They took a few more steps and then Otabek was sitting on the bed, Yuri wrapping their legs around Otabek’s middle and only breaking their kiss when they became aware that their crotch was firmly pressed against Otabek’s abdomen. 

“Beka,” Yuri breathed, their lips nearly touching Otabek’s as they spoke. Their faces were close enough together that it was almost impressive that Otabek wasn’t making eye contact with them. At least, it would have been impressive if it didn’t worry Yuri. “Are you okay? Is this what you want.”

Otabek paused for a small moment but it was long enough for Yuri to notice. 

“Yes.”

“Beka… please look at me.” 

“I– this is what I want.” Otabek still wouldn’t look at Yuri and Yuri frowned. 

“Otabek Plistesky.” Otabek looked up at that name, seeming surprised and almost confused by it for a moment. When they made eye contact with Yuri, Yuri thought he looked scared. “Talk to me.”

Otabek opened his mouth a few times and no words came out. Finally, he was able to croak out, ‘this is what I want,’ but his voice was scratchy and strained. 

Yuri continued to look at Otabek seriously, refusing to look away even though they suspected Otabek was praying for just that. Finally, their face softened and in a quiet voice, they tried again.

“Otabek, is this really what you want?”

Otabek looked lost and then defeated, his eyes filling with tears that he quickly tried to wipe away, hating the weakness they showed even though he knew he was safe with Yuri. There was still part of him afraid to cry in front of anyone for fear of them using his upset panic against him. 

“Beka…” Yuri slid off Otabek’s lap, going to find something to put on before they returned to Otabek. 

When they returned to the bed wearing a pair of sweatpants that belonged to Otabek, Yuri sat down next to the silently crying Otabek. 

“Baby, you can talk to me.” Yuri didn’t want to touch Otabek, especially not when they were trying to ignore the continued tightness of their underwear, but they also didn’t want to leave or for Otabek to feel like they were putting too much distance between them. Yuri just wasn’t sure they were equipped to help Otabek even though they were going to try their best. “Please.”

“I–” Otabek’s voice broke and he coughed. When he spoke again, his voice was even despite his continued tears. Yuri wasn’t sure they’d ever be used to Otabek’s ability to control his tone despite how deeply upset he was. “I should want this. This is what people do on their wedding nights. It’s what you want too and I want what you want. I want this.”

“Otabek, you don’t have to want anything.” Yuri wished they knew what combination of words would convince Otabek that they’d love him with or without sex. Yuri thought the words engraved in his ring said it all. “And fuck what other people do.”

“But–”

“And who said this is what I want?”

“Well, you seem pretty… excited.” Otabek mumbled, his tears drying up as he folded his arms and looked away. 

“Sure, but that’s just my body doing whatever it thinks it should.” Yuri pouted, thinking for a moment. “But my brain knows what I want and what I want if for you to be comfortable. Do you understand? I love you no matter what and the last thing I want is for you to force yourself this way. I never want you to force yourself for me.” 

Yuri had finally hit the point in their 20s where they really realized how little they knew and how powerless they were. They were learning every day that they were pretty useless and they were hyper-aware of that fact in this moment. Yuuri or Phichit or even Viktor would probably know what to say to explain what they were feeling. Yuri just wasn’t very good with feelings, even after all these years. They were especially bad at feelings when other people were involved. 

But this wasn’t just any other person, this was Otabek. 

“Did you really think you couldn’t talk to me about this?”

“What?”

Yuri grimaced, not wanting to make things worse but knowing that no matter what they said, it would probably be the wrong thing. 

“Why didn’t you tell me how you were feeling?”

“Because I…”

“Beka.” Yuri looked at Otabek but he wouldn’t turn his head towards Yuri. “I don’t understand why you won’t just talk to me when you’re feeling these things!” 

“Because it’s embarrassing, okay?” Otabek was practically shouting but then he was back to a quiet, even voice. “I’m 26 years old and I shouldn’t– I should–” Otabek sighed. “I was embarrassed about how scared and uncomfortable the idea of sex made me feel. I didn’t want… I didn’t want anyone…”

“Beka, you don’t have anything to be embarrassed about.” Yuri hated that they didn’t know how to help. They hated that they couldn’t really understand. “You can tell me anything. I’m not going to judge you.”

Otabek didn’t respond, his arms still tight around himself as he looked pointedly not at Yuri. After a few quiet moments of that, Yuri sighed. 

“Why don’t you lay down? I’ll get you some water and let me find a way to turn up the heat in this hotel room.” Otabek obliged without speaking, pulling off his socks but leaving on his slacks. Yuri didn’t comment, letting Otabek do what he wanted and needed, and instead went to get water for Otabek. They gave him the water and paused, trying to be careful with their words. “You need to tell me what you need now.”

Otabek shook his head, struggling to sit up before taking a sip of the water.

“How about I go deal with… yah know… then we can just lay down? I’ll give you time to breathe a little then we can talk, okay?” 

“Okay,” Otabek answered quietly, doing his best to not completely withdraw into his mind but finding he was having difficulty. 

“Beka, do you need me to stay now or do you want me to go. You need to tell me, I can’t read your mind.”

“I–” Otabek just didn’t know right now. Maybe that meant Yuri should stay or maybe that meant they should go, he just didn’t know. “You can go…”

Yuri lingered for a moment more before disappearing into the bathroom, the shower starting to run almost immediately. The sound was nice despite its latent meaning and Otabek was glad for it. 

He focused on just the sound of the water and his own muscles, tightening his entire body—though most of his muscles were already plenty tight—before loosening each part one at a time. He started with his toes then moved to his feet then his ankles and he continued up until his entire body was relaxed. The water had stopped and Otabek took a few breaths, glad he was able to stop himself from panicking or withdrawing too much. 

He knew it had been stupid to try and force himself but he had hoped that if he just got past his own fear, his own hesitancy, then he’d be fine. He thought that once he was past all the beginning bits—foreplay?—he’d be okay. He thought he might even be okay.

But pushing through had been a bad idea and hadn’t worked. But he’d wanted it to work so much. It had been so easy to convince himself that this was a good idea but now he wondered how he’d been so stupid. 

“Beka, is it okay for me to lay down?” 

Otabek turned over to look at Yuri and nodded. When Yuri still didn’t move Otabek took a deep breath.

“It’s okay… I’m feeling better now.” Yuri laid down next to Otabek, looking at him with those eyes that Otabek knew spoke of worry but also—or maybe he was imagining this—pity. “Sorry about that.”

“Don’t apologize.” Yuri’s voice was hard and they pursed their lips after they spoke. “You didn’t do anything wrong.”

“I just wanted to do it. I really did.”

“You were forcing yourself.” That wasn’t a question. “Do you really not trust me enough to talk to me?”

“What?”

“If you ever think you want to have sex, I want us to talk about it before.” Yuri had spent some extra time in the bathroom after their ‘shower’ thinking about what they were going to say. What they needed to say. “I should have said this earlier but I didn’t. If you ever want to have sex, that’s fine, but we need to _talk_ about it. Can you at least promise me that much?”

“Yes…” Otabek leaned closer to Yuri, leaning his forehead against their chest. “I really am sorry, but I’m sorry for not communicating.”

“I’m sorry too, for letting you think you needed to do this.” Otabek moved closer to Yuri, breathing in the unfamiliar scent of the hotel’s generic soap. Somehow, that was still comforting in a way. “Should I… Do you want to cuddle.”

“Yah,” Otabek responded and Yuri moved to wrap their arms around Otabek. “I really meant it when I said you were beautiful.”

“I know.”

“I’m sorry that I keep being stupid.”

“You’re not stupid… at least no more than I am.” Yuri laughed a little, closing their eyes as they basked in the familiar scent of Otabek’s hair gel. “I love you… And I wasn’t lying when I got that engraving. I will always be next to you, no matter what.” 

“It’s a miracle we ever got this far, isn’t it?”

“I’ll say.” Yuri smiled. “And I’d bet Yuuri and Viktor would agree. They’d be so disappointed if they knew how much we most messed up.”

Otabek laughed at that. “Like they’re models of healthy communication.” Yuri snorted out an agreement. “Guess it takes one to know one.” 

They both fell into silence, Yuri reading up to run a hand through Otabek’s hair while they gently rubbed Otabek’s back with the other. The hand running through Otabek’s hair was starting to lose feeling but that was a small price to pay for the way Otabek smiled and leaned into Yuri’s hand. 

“Yura?” 

“Yes?”

“I love you too.” 

Yuri thought they might have a long way to go—they seemed to end up thinking that a lot—but that they might just get there. Even though tonight hadn’t gone great, Yuri thought it had gone better than it might have a few years, or even a few months, ago. 

They had a long way to go but they’d also come pretty fucking far. 

_End Part 2_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be going on hiatus because nanowrimo has taken all my time. Also the sims 4... And my inability to write part 3 of this. I don't know when it'll be back because I'm literally moving to the other side of the world in about a week so there are a lot of variables about when this will be done.

**Author's Note:**

> Continuation of notes:
> 
> This fic is still not exactly done but I'm over 2/3 done (not including editing) so I said fuck it. I'm starting nanowrimo this month and you can bet that since I'll be working on a different fic (space AU for the win) I'll suddenly feel like writing something else. 
> 
> I'll be moving at the end of this month so it's going to be a little crazy but I'm hoping to have this finished before then. Right now I'm looking at a MWF posting schedule but I might add Sunday, get back to me this weekend...
> 
> This fic was supposed to be short and sweet and instead... well it's 10 chapters so far and I've got quite a bit left.
> 
> I've marked it as mature for some stuff in ch10 specifically but it's barely anything. If you've read anything by me you know how much I don't write anything smutty haha... That's also the chapter with the 'disassociation' which is really not disassociation but there wasn't a better word, sorry. I'd rather be safe than sorry with my tagging. 
> 
> This won't be the last fic in this series but once I finish this, I'll move on more to the sequel series to this called: My Future is Your Present. It's about the various skater's kids and I'm really excited for it, especially the fic about Noa. It combines two of my favorite things: f/f and rugby. 
> 
> I think that's all for now! Hope you enjoy this fic that's 7/10 about Yuri and Otabek's relationship, 1/10 about Yuri's relationship with their friends, and 1/10 just people desperately trying to understand who they are. Also, there's a touch of just some other stuff sprinkled in there like an occasional look at Avery's life and love, a roundup of the skater's and their families, and the Katsuki's family's life.


End file.
